Thursday, November 12, 2015

When We Give In

I can be a very stubborn person. I don’t like to “give in” if I feel very strongly about my stance, view, or position on something. But over time, I’ve been learning a few very important lessons about “giving in.”

“Giving In” doesn’t necessarily mean I was wrong and the other person was right. Sometimes, it means that I value the relationship more than I value my position of having to feel and “be” right.  It may mean I’m choosing to pick my battles and this particular one wasn’t as hefty as I know some others might be. But it doesn’t mean I was wrong.

“Giving In” doesn’t mean that I’m weak. Like I said, I can be stubborn. I can hold onto my pride if I feel I might be embarrassed, humiliated, or look foolish.  So at times, “giving in” can be the last thing I want to do. But sometimes you have to “give in” for the sake of sanity. For the sake of your emotional and physical well-being. For the sake of relationships.  You have to choose your priorities. I need to realize that I can swallow my pride more easily, than I can repair a broken relationship. I’m learning, that it takes greater strength to “give in,” at times, than it does to hold my ground. Holding our ground can be easy; but to make a choice we wouldn’t prefer or would rather not do? That takes greater strength. And greater love.

“Giving In’ doesn’t mean I’m giving up.  It means I value something greater.  Of course not every situation should demand that I “give up.” If something is morally or legally wrong, I should always stand firm in what I value and believe. If someone could be in danger? Never “give in” to hiding it.  But normally, life asks me to “give in” on a smaller scale. Those issues may be very important to me, but are not life-altering for someone.

We dig our feet in so many times, in life. We can be selfish and stubborn in the quest for someone to simply acknowledge “we were right.” But in the end, “rightness” doesn’t always win. Sometimes you have to let something go, for the ability to simply be able, to move on in life. To get past it and to grow.

You can still be strong. You can still be compassionate. You can still be “right.” But by “giving in,” you can now, also, move forward. And sometimes, that is what is needed the most.

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