The older I get, the more I learn about life and myself. And I learn that there is still SO much to learn about life and myself!
I learn how others see me. I learn how I see me. I learn how I want to see me and I learn that the way I think and feel about things, affects my future choices.
You’d think those would be straightforward lessons.
I think I will always want others to like me. To understand my heart. To know where I’m coming from. Yet, I’m learning to make peace when they don’t. Not always – but more and more.
I’m learning that even if I think I came across okay to someone else; even if I think I look cute; even if I think I’m great company or that I’m charming…..it’s okay that someone else doesn’t. It’s okay that I may not measure up to their standards.
It’s ok to be imperfect in their eyes.
For I am imperfect. I have lots of flaws. Fears. Failures. And I make tons of mistakes. Daily.
So in reality, they are simply realizing the truth about me. It just may not come in the form I think it should come in.
I think God sets certain people before us to be our friends and be involved in our lives. And other; others He doesn’t. Maybe He’s protecting us for one reason or another. Maybe they are a great person and they’d really love us, but God has someone else in mind for one of us that will impact one of our lives in a deeper way. Maybe, sometimes, He simply has lessons for us to learn.
So instead of curling up and allowing myself to wither away from someone else’s judgment of me, I am learning to be inspired in a new and different way. To learn more about myself through it. To be motivated in a new directions, at times. And to learn most importantly – that I am loveable, valuable, and embraceable not because someone else approves of me, but because God finds me so.
I am imperfect. And it’s okay.