Thursday, August 2, 2012

Wanting To Be Wanted

Everyone wants to be wanted. We all want to be chosen. Picked. Selected. Called. Invited. Asked. Even if we don’t want to be involved or go somewhere – we want to be wanted.

Just as we all want to be wanted….we’ve all felt like we weren’t wanted. 

Everyone was going to that amazing speaker or concert in town and you weren’t asked to be a part of the group.  Or a bunch of people went out to dinner and you weren’t invited.  The auditorium is getting full and some of your “friends” are saving seats…but not for you. Everyone is asked to “team up” and you seem to be odd man out.

We’ve all been there. All smelled our shirts and checked our breath to make sure we don’t stink.  We’ve all gone home and shed a tear or two – or tons.

I’ve lived life IN the group and outside of it. I’ve observed and I’ve partaken.  And one thing I’ve learned is that no one gets to a place where they always feel “safe.” Everyone is always seeking out more value, more love, more of being wanted. It seems to reaffirm that we are important. We are special. We are worth something!

I’ve learned far more from being outside of a “click” than I probably ever learned from being inside of one. And I’ve probably grown stronger and defined who I am and my sense of self esteem more outside of groups than in them. That doesn’t mean it’s fun to be excluded. It’s not. It simply means that God was sifting and shaping me into being better, stronger, wiser, and more complete.

I’m thankful for that work He’s done on me and in me. I’m thankful that I can see more clearly now. I can see what isn’t always said on someone’s face. I can feel someone’s heart easier by looking in their eyes and observing their body language. I can love more completely and not base it on image, status, or brands – but on heart and soul.

I think sometimes that satan tries to keep us out of the loop of things so that we will always feel “less than.” So that we will forget who we are in Christ. So that we will limit ourselves because we don’t feel worthy of the calling. And so often he is successful.

Other times, I think God allows us to be outside of the mix for our own well-being. So that we will lean on Him instead of others. So that we will seek Him more. And sometimes simply to protect us from bad influences or growing vainfully more in our own pride.

Everyone wants to be wanted.

No one really wants to show up alone.

But whether or not we are in one of those seasons in life right now, we need to trust in God that He will walk through it with us. That He will sit with us. He will eat with us. And He will invite us to be with Him.

For He always wants us.


Paula said...

Dionna, Thanks for posting this. Just over a year ago, my sister committed suicide and was struggling with the thought of being "alone" and "unwanted" because of a pending divorce. Since then, I've done a LOT of thinking about why people take their lives or are struggling with depression (having gone through it myself for many years). I've come to the conclusion that two things are vital: a feeling of hope, and the realization that someone else has had the same feeling I am feeling and that I'm not alone--whether it be a feeling of being wanted or any feeling. More than ever, I have personally seen that both these vital things are possible through God: someone who offers great hope and someone who shares every feeling we can ever feel.

Dionna said...

Paula - I am so so terribly sorry about your sister. I, too, have been touched by suicide. I pray that more of us will see the need for encouragement, love, and hope in someone else's heart.

Anonymous said...

Excellent post!! Sylvia

Dionna said...

Thank you, Sylvia.