A Special Wedding

My oldest daughter got married a week ago. I don't think it has really registered, that I have a married daughter yet.

What a special, but crazy time the last couple of weeks have been! We've had family and friends fly in and step right up to the plate in helping us put on the wedding. 

It truly takes a village - and we were so thankful for ours!

My daughter's youth pastor from when we lived in Idaho, drove in to perform the ceremony. 

Her nephew carried her late-great-grandfather's Bible, instead of a ringbearer pillow. 

A deer snorted in the nearby bushes as if he was praying with all of us during prayer time. 

The mother-of-the-bride (me) and the bridesmaids all held hands and prayed right before the ceremony...as unknowingly to one another.... the fathers and groomsmen did the same in their dressing room.

Special moments. Special memories.

And so much love!!!

Was every moment perfect? No. It wasn't as dark as we had hoped it would be, so some of the lights didn't show up, and we ran out of some food (which I hope meant that it was yummy!) But - as I tell my daughter, it was "imperfectly perfect." It was THEIR day. They defied the odds of maintaining a long-distance relationship, and he made it through months and months of the immigration process, to come to America from England.

They have an open future ahead of them.

So, I have been very busy the last few months as we've prepared for this big day. Very, VERY busy the last few weeks! But there is no better way I would rather have spent my time, than with my precious daughter. With my loved ones. Laughing. Loving. Embracing hope for a new future in the next generation of our family.

It was all such a beautiful gift.

I Am Happy

I’ve been feeling so content and happy lately. I am just in a spot where life is good. I love who I am, WHERE I am, and who I have around me.

I feel so blessed. So overwhelmed at times, because I’m humbled and in awe of how much my God loves me. Of how good He is to me.

I am happy.

It feels good to feel happy. To feel content. To know that you are blessed and to just sigh, and relish in it.

It seems like so much of life is overcoming challenges, travelling up hills and navigating curves and climbs. It seems like there is so much bad news. Too many tears. The good times deserve to be relished. They SHOULD be enjoyed, felt, and appreciated.

I don’t want to overlook the thankfulness in my heart. I don’t want to miss the appreciation I feel. For I know there will be new challenges, heartaches, and trials ahead. After all, I am living. There are always trials in living!

So for today, I smile.  And I celebrate life. MY life. I heartily love.  And I acknowledge, mostly. I acknowledge that I am seen, valued, loved, and heard.

And that means everything.

This Is the Life God Has Called Me To Live

From my point of view, I’ve seemed to go through quite a few things in my life that weren’t “normal.” By that I mean, that I didn’t know anyone else to whom I could talk to or consult with about what season I was in at the time. I understand that doesn’t mean that someone else somewhere wasn’t going through it. But for me, I just felt all alone. I felt like I was navigating that season a little bit blindly – hoping that I made the right choices through it and came out the other side in tact and better from it.

I’ve struggled with these seasons in my life. I’ve struggled because they were things that people would probably view as things that “shouldn’t be done that way.”  There are certain things and ways you should go about things in life. And for whatever reason, my life doesn’t always seem to go about these things in that ‘acceptable’ way.

I’ll give you a couple of examples.

I got married at 23. But I didn’t just get married. I got married to someone who had been married before, and who had custody of his 6 year old son. So I immediately became a full-time custodial stepmom. Not something I knew anyone else in my life had done.

I’ve had two children get engaged at the age of 18. Before they graduated from high school.

Not part of the normal. Not part of the way society says you should do things.

But I’m thinking, “Just who made society always right, anyways?”

Just because something isn’t considered ‘normal,’ doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

There are a few other examples in my life of things that haven’t taken the ‘traditional’ path. I’ve had to adjust my mindset and my thinking to accept these deviances from what everyone else thinks I should do, how I should do it, and when.

There are so many times where I wish I could feel ‘normal.’ I wish I could have the same problems as everyone else. But it seems that I am not called to ‘normal.’ God has a different direction and plan for my life. He has asked me to step into abnormal situations and circumstances and trust Him with them.  It doesn’t mean I still don’t struggle internally with them. I do. But I’m learning that this is my life. This is the one He has called me to. And it’s beautiful.

I’ve been stretched. I’ve been hurt. I’ve been judged. But I’ve also seen glimpses of God at work that I know I wouldn’t have any other way. I’ve seen His hand in my life and in the lives of those I hold dear and I could not wish or ask for anything differently.

I may wish at times that God had called me to a normal and safe life. But I’m honored that He’s called me to this one. Even though it is so different than what I would have thought I needed in my life – it’s a blessed life. And I will handle it with as much graciousness, prayer, and integrity that I can.

Whatever life God has called you to, know that it is tailored just for you. It’s a life that He feels is right for you and how He can best speak to you and through you. Trust His judgment. Trust His curveballs. Enjoy the ride when you can, and hold on to His hand when you’re scared. He will never leave your side.

It’s your life. Whatever you’re going through – it’s what He has designed.

Just. For. You.

I Want to Make a Difference

I want to make a difference in someone’s life. I want to know that their day was better because of something I said or did. I want to know that they are happier because of my presence in their world.

I want to make an impact.

I want to smile, knowing that I had a part in causing someone to smile.

I want to feel content, knowing that I helped make the load and burden in someone else’s life – just a little bit lighter. I want to feel like I helped someone else realize that they were valued, cherished, and loved.

I want to make a difference.

I don’t want to go about my business and fail to see the tears in someone’s eyes or the droop of their shoulders. I want to notice. I want to act.

I don’t want to ignore the struggle that someone else is enduring.

I want to listen. Love. Hug. Touch. Smile. And care.

If only I could always help someone feel less alone. If only I could help them see their own beauty. If only I could help the cracks in their heart heal – the ones that are there from deep wounds and hurts.

I want to try. I want to love.

I want to make a difference.

Shaped By Loss

My first experience with loss came when I was just 6 years old.  My great grandma died. I remember seeing her in her hospital bed – so very frail. I have few memories of time spent with her but those that I do have are very tender. My favorite memory is the chocolate milk she would make for me whenever I came over.

My next real loss would come hard and deep. I was in 5^th grade and my grandpa died suddenly of a heart attack. Just 3 weeks later, my uncle would die in a plane crash. That was a tough year for our family.

That would begin my journey of losing a great many special people in my life. I lost a couple of dear family friends to cancer. and a friend in high school was hit by a car and killed. Then the summer after I graduated from high school, a boy I had grown up with died in a drunk-driving accident. I took that very hard as well.

As a young adult I lost two cousins to suicide.

I lost other special people in my life as well.

I’ve seen what can happen in life. Maybe that’s why I’m so cautious and careful – never feeling too risky about things.  Or maybe, just maybe that’s why I seem to feel such deep empathy when others are in pain. I can even feel pain for someone I’ve only heard or read about in the news! I think it’s because once you’ve been there… well… you just get it.

I am so thankful that my children haven’t really had to experience many deaths in their young lives yet. They are lucky. By the time I was their age I’d already lost so many cherished ones.

Loss is a part of life. Not a fun part – but a part just the same. In time, you DO heal and you do start to smile and laugh again. Yet you are shaped and formed by what has happened to you. It is up to you to decide if you will be colder, harder, and less willing to love and be loved … or if you will tell others how much you care about them more often and try to make the most of your every moment. It’s up to you to decide how you will spend your time and to what you will devote your life to.

We are here for a reason. It may seem a simple cliché but it’s so very true.  We have just one life to give and live. And no matter how yours was shaped or formed – whether you endured great hardship, or loss as I did; you can make the most of your today and your now. You can use what happened to you to encourage and embrace others who are hurting. You can use the pain in your past and instead change it to courage and strength instead of loss and hurt.

We are all formed and shaped by something in our lives. I happen to think that it’s the losses in my own life that have added the beauty, dimension, and tenderness in my soul that wouldn’t have otherwise been there. I’d like to think that through great loss is great gain if you will only look for it. It’s in there to be found – that lesson and that jewel that only God can show you.  May you find it and use it well.

20 Things I Learned In The Last Year

I believe no matter how old a person gets, that they should always be learning in life. There is SO much to learn; we can never possibly know it all! Learning can be fun. It can be freeing. It can inject energy and motivation into an otherwise “stuck” or dull routine. It can lead you down a whole new path in life that you’d never considered!  It can keep your mind alive. It can keep you interested, and interesting, to others.

So, I thought I’d sit down and see just what I learned in the last year.  These are in no certain order or “greatness.” A lot of things people learn in life, is small. Or it may seem small to someone else. But learning is learning – no matter what size or shape it comes in. And just taking the ability to allow yourself to adapt, adjust, or change somehow – no matter how itty bitty the steps, is a great thing.

1.     I learned to like broccoli. I resisted and resisted, but my daughter’s fiancé finally got us to try it in a pasta dish in very small, tiny, cut up pieces. Now, I can’t get enough of it! I don’t like to eat it plain – but I love it in soups, rice dishes, salads, and pasta. Something I once cringed and turned my nose up at, I now keep consistently stocked in my fridge.

2.     I learned how to drive in a big city like San Antonio. Well, I’m STILL learning a bit on this one. But I’m managing.

3.     I learned that scorpions freak me out. Not that this was a huge surprise.

4.     I learned how hard it is to make a balloon animal.

5.     I learned that my God can STILL surprise me.

6.     I learned that I can go 8 ½ weeks without internet service – even if I hate every minute of it.

7.     I learned that when you move to another state, some people quickly write you out of their lives. You definitely learn very quickly who really cares about you.

8.     I learned that my husband can still surprise me.

9.     I learned if you mix cherry flavored water and gingerale…. It’s really yummy!

10. I learned, that if your daughter is on your bed and you are kneeling at the wrong time by the foot of it, that she can turn over and kick you in the nose so hard it gives you a massive bloody nose.

11. I also learned that if your other daughter tries to run up an escalator the wrong way and falls, it can cut her knee so bad that she needs 5 stitches.

12. I have learned to be more content when life is crazy and things happen out of my control.

13. I have learned that no matter how old my kids get, I will NEVER stop feeling protective of them.

14. I’ve learned that other people find value in what I do (writing.) And that even though I’ve always wanted that, I still find it astonishing when they do.

15. I’ve learned that letting my kids grow up will be one of the hardest things I ever do.

16. I learned that I’m not really a bubble bath kind of girl. I’d rather just get in the shower, do my thing, and get out.

17. I learned that I can be addicted to Iphone games.

18. I’m learning to accept myself more and more each day. And it feels so good.

19. I learned that I adore dark chocolate almonds.

20. I learned that I believe God more this year than I ever have before. He continues to provide, He continues to be faithful, and He continues to love me despite all of my flaws. He is good. He is steadfast.

What is something you have learned in the last year?

Still Such a Work In Progress

I’ve lived 40+ years on this earth. 40+ years that I am so thankful for.

Some of those years held great pain for my heart. I had to overcome big obstacles, inner demons, and overwhelming odds stacked against me.

Some of those years held magical moments that can’t be touched in human words. Those blessings can only be held tenderly inside of me with a deeply-held appreciation and realization of what God has done.

I’ve learned so many lessons. Felt so much emotion. Been brought to my knees when my pride wouldn’t kneel on its own.

I have loved and lost. Held and let go. Laughed and cried with just as much depth.

It’s my life. My story.  Each page turned has brought a new storyline with it.

Some days I feel so old – others, I still feel like a young babe. I know that I have gained much wisdom through the things I’ve been through and seen. Yet I also know that I still have huge lessons to learn. I still repeat mistakes and I still need to be humbled at times.

It’s true how the Bible tells us we are like clay, molded and shaped in the great potter’s hands. I can see that so clearly. I can see how parts of me have had to be chipped away, how parts of me still have cracks that need to be repaired, and how God is making me more beautiful in His image year by year.

I don’t know if there are parts of me that I will ever be happy to see be torn away from my firmly clenched hands. I don’t think it’s ever easy to see parts of ourselves chiseled and clipped away. Even if we know they hold us back, they are still part of our identity. It’s only after they are gone that we can see how much better off we are without them.

Sometimes I know I may be that stiff piece of clay that just fights being workable in the potter’s hands. I don’t want to conform to His will. I don’t want to be shaped a different way. I have my own visions. My own objective. I see myself in a light that I, myself, find fitting.

And yet after 40+ years of learning, growing, and realizing that I am still so imperfect and flawed, I know that I am still such a work in progress. I may be an adult, but I am far from finished. My story is far from its ending.

There is so much more life to live. To love. To learn.

It’s kind of exciting to think that God is not done with me yet. To know that He still has exciting things in store for me.

I am the clay. He is the potter. He’s gotten me this far – I can surely trust Him further.

Sometimes I Forget To Play the "Glad Game"

One of my favorite ‘old’ Disney movies is “Pollyanna.” Something about that little girl and her sweet desire to be positive despite her circumstances, has always resonated with me.

I try to be positive in life, although I would never call myself a ‘Pollyanna.’ I do, however, try to look at the good in life. The blessings that God has given me. For I am so thankful for those gifts.

However, sometimes I get wrapped up in my own little world and the circumstances in it that cause me to be frustrated, upset, discouraged, or mad. And I can forget to be ‘glad’ about something in spite of them.

For instance, we are going strong into week six of not having any internet in our new house. It’s a long story – but suffice it to say, that one company didn’t know they were building on our street at all and didn’t lay any internet cable at all. The other company started late and has yet to give us the ‘all clear’ – so we are just waiting… and waiting… and waiting some more for them to tell us we are now eligible for internet.

It’s been painful for me. As an online writer and someone active on social media – I’ve been enduring major withdrawals. I’ve had to go down to my church on occasion just to schedule a few tweets or blog entries.  My girls have to pay to print things out at school. I can’t shop online for Christmas gifts. Google maps? Forget about it. Can’t use it right now. Creating Christmas cards? Nope! Online bill paying? Finding a new doctor? You get the idea. It’s amazing how much we use the internet these days for so many things!  But instead of finding something to be ‘glad’ about – I’ve wallowed in my sorrow and disgust at how ridiculous it has been to sit here for six weeks without internet.

That six weeks probably could have been a lot more fun had I had a more positive attitude. I could have been glad that I had the extra time to unpack and set up our new home. I could be glad that I HAVE a church with a café and internet that I can occasionally stop in at! I could be glad for the realization that I am SO appreciative to normally be able to get on the internet every day from my home!

Seems silly, but it changes my perspective on everything. It changes my attitude, my focus, and my heart. And most of all, it makes me kinder. I get grumpy when I’m not happy. And that’s not fun for anyone.

So how about you try the ‘Glad Game?” Whatever situation you’re going through right now – the one that is not fun, discouraging, frustrating, or a challenge – try to find something to be glad about in spite of it all. Try to make it a habit and allow it to soften your heart to the unfair things in this world. I promise, you’ll be glad you did. And so will others around you!

Get To Know Me a Little

Get To Know Me A Little

I did this once a few years ago, and thought it was time for an update. I always enjoy reading about others – hope you enjoy learning about me a little bit!

1) If I were a doll, the accessories packaged with me would be: a laptop, curling iron, and camera.

2) I have an irrational fear of... snakes. And of something horrible happening to my children.

3.) What type of food do you eat at your grandparent’s house? Oh – it’s been so long! But I have such dear and fond memories of Thanksgiving days spent there.

4.) What weight were you when you were born? Without looking it up, I believe I was 7lbs something

5.) What would you do if you were stranded on an island with the person you hate most? Somehow learn to work together to survive. And probably learn to understand them more in the process.

6.) When is your next vacation planned? I don’t have one and that’s okay with me! I’ve been blessed with so many travels already. Never know when another one will pop up!

7.) Do you stalk anyone on Facebook? – It depends. If something serious is going on with someone, yes, I check their page often.

8.) I find the thought of childbirth……Beautiful. It immediately takes me to my own two births and what magical days those were for me. I’d love to be present for the birth of one of my grandchildren someday…. Crossing fingers!

9.) My feet are…. Well, I have my toes always painted.

10.) My preferred food is…. Depends on the day and my mood! Love homemade chicken noodle soup or a good bowl of potato soup. But I also adore a great salad, pepperoni pizza, or tacos. And then there’s dark chocolate….

11.) Why is your 1 your 1? My husband? Because he showed me I was worth fighting for...

12.) Know how to cook? I cook fairly basic things - I'm certainly not a gourmet cook.

13.) I am annoyed with: laziness and people who don’t keep their word.

14.) What is the worst way you were dumped? Hmm - I don't think I was every really dumped. Probably because I was too scared to date much!

15.) What child-related smell do you not like? Throw-up, or nasty diapers.

16.) What sea creature scares you? Sharks!

17.) What kind of car do you have? Chevy Tahoe which has been a good car for us but is currently in fall-apart mode

18.) What object have you broken most recently? Well, I didn’t break it personally, but the way I allowed a picture to be placed in a car when we were moving, caused the glass to break. And it was my husband’s.

19.) Name one of the Spice Girls: Posh Spice?

20.) What is the last thing that made you cry? Can’t remember. I guess that’s a good thing!

21.) What are the stems on wine glasses for? Never thought about it - but they are very elegant and pretty! Maybe they are to hold onto so you can swish and swirl the wine before you drink it?

22.) My favorite shoes are: Boots! Which I need more of.

23.) Can you use chopsticks? No, but it would be fun to try

24.) Do you prefer beaches or forests? Hmm - well forests make me feel so warm and fuzzy inside because my dad used to be in the timber industry and so I grew up going into the forest here and there. But a warm, sunny beach? Beautiful. So it's a toss up for me.

25.) What serial killer do you find most disturbing? All of them!

26.) Who knows a secret or two about you? My husband, without a doubt. Then, my girls.

27.) Have you ever burned yourself? Too many times! I burned my eye with the curling iron (Yes, it was painful!), I've burned myself cooking too.

28.) Who is probably talking bad about you right now? Oh gosh. I sure hope no one!

29.) Where is your brother right now? Don’t have a brother.

30.) Do you believe in things that last forever? Only eternal things

31.) What are you listening to right now? People chattering away while eating lunch at our church café.

32.) What do you smell like? You'd have to ask my hubby and children...

33.) Are you married? Oh yes. I got me a warrior!

34.) Does anyone regularly tell you they love you? Yes. My family.

35.) Do you have any bad habits? I am always forgetting to stand up straight and I hate that. I also can interrupt when I get excited to say something – totally unintentional.

36.) Have you ever wanted to be a teacher? Not seriously.

37.) What is one thing you've learned about life? That no one is perfect and everyone has hurt.

38.) What is your favorite color? I don't have just one. Love all shades of blues, black is classy, and pinks.

39.) Have you ever been stuck in an elevator? No.

40.) How many of the people in your friends list on Facebook do you actually know in real life? Most of them. There is no one on my list that I don’t know where or how I connected with them.

41.) Has anyone told you that they like you as more than a friend? My husband

42.) What are you looking forward to? The day when we get internet! It’s been 3 weeks without, and we are just waiting for the ‘internet people’ to finish hooking it up in our new neighborhood. I miss it so much!

43.) How are you today? I am doing good. Life is busy and lots is going on. But God is good and He is faithful. I am so blessed to be where I am.

Got a question? Feel free to ask!

The Beauty That Lies Within the Busyness

Step into the last year and a half of my life with me.

Last May, we put our house up for sale in Boise, Idaho. It sold in two weeks. From that moment on, life has been a whirlwind.

We packed up and moved into an apartment in June. Around the end of July, we drove to Las Vegas, NV where we THOUGHT we’d be moving. During the couple days we were there, God spoke to all of our hearts and clearly told us that wasn’t what He wanted for us. So, we cut our trip short and drove to San Antonio, TX where God DID lead us to move to!  We made the long drive home and started packing up the remainder of our stuff that wasn’t sitting in storage.

During this time period, my husband’s employer went through the third round of layoffs that we’d been through in the 15 years he’d been employed there. We decided since we were planning on leaving anyways, it would be in our advantage to take the severance package and be laid off. That is exactly what happened.

My husband got laid off and we flew back to San Antonio for two days to find a home to rent. Amidst much stress, by God’s grace, we found one.

Flew back to Boise, finished packing up, and two weeks later, our whole family made the 4 day drive to San Antonio, Texas in September.

The first couple of nights in our rental home were an adventure. We slept in an empty house in sleeping bags. But it was memorable and fun. After a few days, we then flew to Georgia where a dear friend got married and my two girls were bridesmaids. We were there a few days, flew back to San Antonio, spent another night on the floor and then our truck and our belongings arrived on the same day where I spent three hours enrolling my girls in one of the biggest public schools I’ve ever seen.

My husband enrolled in a 9 week course to help him diversify his skills a bit.

In December, we had my daughter’s boyfriend from England come and stay with us for a month.

In the spring, we flew back to England, to meet this same young man’s family. We also made a vacation out of it – not knowing when we’d get another one, and got to see Scotland and Ireland while we were there. It was a wonderful trip. We flew home and found out that my husband had been hired by the company whose course he had taken. A true praise – not just that he got the job, but he got hired around the same time ours severance and unemployment ran out. God is so good to us!

In May, I flew back to Boise, Idaho where I was in town for only about 12 hours before I again made the 3 ½ day drive back to Odessa, TX. And this time with my stepson, daughter-in-law, and grandkids who had just gotten a worship pastor job there. We were so excited to have them move to Texas – even if it was 5 hours away! My family met us upon arrival, and after helping the kids maneuver through an unforeseen situation with an unlivable rental, we then made the 5 hour drive home.

In June, my daughter’s boyfriend from England came and lived with us for the whole summer. My youngest daughter also had a friend from home come and visit us for a week.  We shopped and shopped and finally found my oldest her first car in Austin.

And we started building a house.

Summer was busy.

Not to mention, throughout this time period, I got two wonderful writing jobs. One with the San Antonio Marriage Initiative, and one with HealthyLeaders.com (which will debut October 3^rd!). I have been so humbled and excited to be a participant in these two fantastic organizations! Both, which aim to serve the Lord in all they do. I’m so in love with, and in awe of, how God works.

So, here we sit. A year and a half later and our home is set to be ready for us to move in, hopefully by next week. So, we’ve been packing again.

I am SO ready to move into my own home. Unpack. Decorate. Settle in. And settle down! I’m ready for routine again. But did I mention it’s my daughter’s senior year in high school? So we are scheduling senior pictures, and gearing up for things like graduation, what will she do afterwards, and all that comes with being a senior.

Life is busy.

I never in a million years would have guessed that life would have gone at such speed in the last year and a half. I never could have seen all the joys and blessings that have come our way – even if they HAVE left us a little tired from time to time!

I am SO thankful to be here in Texas. I’m so thankful for my husband’s job, my daughter’s job, my daughter’s car, my own writing jobs, and our new home. GOD IS GOOD. Yes, He’s good. ALL OF THE TIME. I see in hindsight how He led us here. To this moment in time. And I feel so loved by Him.

It’s been one heck of a ride. But you know what? I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I’ve learned a lot and I’ve had a lot of fun along the way. To everything there is a season…. And this is the season I’m currently living in.

May I never fail to see the beauty that lies within the busyness. And may I never fail to see the love that my God unfolds for me along the way. It’s worth every step.

Because Of Me

I had a doctor appointment one day over a year ago. I was nervous about it and on this particular day, I was stuck waiting for a really long time. So long that a nurse came in and apologized and promised they would be with me shortly.

Isn’t that the way it goes? I sat there, and I thought…why, when I’m so nervous do I have to sit here alone with my thoughts? They were making me crazy. I didn’t want time alone to sift through my own head! I didn’t want to think.

I knew I might be nervous ahead of time for this appointment. So I had copied some Bible verses on fear and put them where I could access them from my phone. I recalled this, leaned over into my purse, and grabbed my phone. I read the verses and found myself calm. I found my thoughts clear.

And I found myself wondering if everything in life truly does have purpose. I mean, how could being delayed at a doctor’s office have purpose?  And then God spoke to my heart. He said, “Because of me.”

Because of me.

He wanted my attention. He wanted me to spend that time with Him. Alone.

Sometimes you just want to hit yourself on the side of the head, don’t you? When you realize something that you think should have been so apparent?

I was delayed that morning so that God could speak to me. So that I could listen. And I could be still with only my Lord.

That time sitting there alone in the room stands out for me. I remember it. It’s not like all the other doctor visits where I sat in a crowded waiting room. No. I remember that morning as one where God shone through in a moment and reached out personally to me to grab my attention.

The wait? It was so worth it.

Time and Commitment Are the Only Way

I have been married to my husband for 20 years. 20 years. It doesn’t seem that long. I still constantly replay our dating days in my head – for they were so romantic. He really wooed me.  And our first few years of marriage were challenging due to circumstances out of our control.

We’ve made it through so much – he and I.

I see now, how my love for him was an immature love. How, over time, it has matured into something deeper and more meaningful than when it first began.  He is truly my best friend. The one I run to, to tell my hurts to, and the one I can’t wait to celebrate my joys with. The one who I still find very handsome and who can make my heart skip a beat.

He has different looks and I can read them – without him saying a word.  I know when something is wrong and I know when something is right.

I love that I can read his emotions in his eyes. That’s something that 20 years together gives you.

I don’t always understand my husband, as I know, he doesn’t always understand me. But we’re always committed to trying to learn. There is still so much to learn about each other, so much more to love.

In the first few years of marriage, the love we shared was magical. It was fresh and fun.  But I can honestly say that although love changes with time….it only gets better. I still have fun with my husband and he still makes me smile. Not everything is as new or fascinating as it once was, but the knowing and understanding only make what we have stronger and deeper.

The hurts we’ve been through as well as the joys, grow us. Bond us. And I’m indebted to each new day that we have together.

I will forever love holding his hand or having his arms wrap around me. I will always know his scent, and his presence in our home and in my heart, give me the joy and peace I need to navigate the rest of life’s difficulties – knowing I have that someone  standing with me and for me.

20 years. A true gift. Our love truly has grown, changed, and evolved.

Only time and commitment can allow that to happen.