Sunday, June 9, 2013

Choosing Not To Argue

I’ve discovered that usually when I’m in an argument with someone, it’s because of my own pride.

A lot of times, I could choose to let an issue go – but I don’t. I instead, choose to engage someone whether it be defending a stance I feel strongly about, or getting indignant about something that I feel is either right or wrong.  Either way – most of the time it comes back to being a pride issue.

Pride is one of the toughest things for me to overcome. There is an instinctive nature we all have in fighting for our territory; our rights. And at times, it is necessary to do just that. But on a daily basis for most of us – it isn’t necessary. And in fact, we do ourselves, our relationships, and our Christian walk a disservice by choosing to pick a battle that stems from pride.

James 4:1 “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?”

I’m usually left feeling frustrated when I have an argument. I sometimes am frustrated with someone else, but I’m also frustrated with myself for letting my irritation or anger spark and get enraged at someone else. I know that for me, I often can’t hurry fast enough to make things right again – with the other person and then personally; an apology to my Lord.

We all have desires. We have wishes, dreams, and we have morals and values. But sometimes I think we need to be a little more discerning in what battles we allow ourselves to be engaged in and in what battles we earnestly take to the Lord on bended knee in prayer. 

I’m learning to speak to the Lord first before I act on issues that I’m passionate about. Oftentimes, that “wait” time is just what I need most to make room for Him to whisper to my heart and show me what action point and attitude He wants to see come out of me in regards to something. Plus, I have a lot less to regret when I give myself time to think about something and to seek God’s input on it.

Pride is a hard thing to let go of. But when you can pause, swallow and step back – God will make it easier to set our pride aside in the best interest of His name.

*Published on July 2011


Anonymous said...

Dionna,Great post. Pride gets us in so much trouble. My mom told me constantly growing up, "Never react, try to stop, reflect, and then act." When I put this into practice, it is helpful. Often this is hard to do. I have to pray often for God's help in this area. Blessings!

marygems said...

I hear you Dionna ;)
when you say: And every once in awhile someone will hear you. Someone will respond. And to them, you will mean everything. Your heart will reach theirs and soothe over a spot that had been cold, lonely, and empty.
i agree that God feels like this often!
Once I bought gifts for my kids and they were completely disinterested. I went to God about it and He told me something like what you have said:He has good gifts for many but they are too busy to even open the gifts he wants to give them.
I think of it as the fellowship of His sufferings !!
God bless you as you bless many through your lovely posts.

Dionna said...

Good advice from your mom, Amy! I am a very emotional woman, so I'm trying to teach myself that very same lesson. :) Sometimes I accomplish the feat - other times nought. :)

Marygems - Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment! I am so sorry for the hurt caused by the disinterest in gifts given in love! I know that's disappointing and hurts. But what a great perspective to see it as God sees it and know that we do that to Him so many times.

I hope you'll visit again.