Sunday, September 20, 2015

Forgive Yourself

Ever since we were little, most of us were told to forgive. We had to forgive our siblings when they hit us, or stole our candy, or did something not nice. We were to forgive that mean girl in class, and the neighborhood bully.

Because it was the right thing to do.

That still didn’t mean we didn’t get hurt. Our feelings got hurt as we grew up. Sometimes, we physically got hurt.  And a lot of us stopped wanting to forgive.

It’s easier at times, to lash out at someone who does something stupid, than to focus on our own short fallings.  We want to protect ourselves. We want to stop from getting hurt any more. Ever.

But in our quest to stop hurting, we forget to acknowledge some of our own feelings. Some of those feelings that have turned inward on ourselves. 

“Maybe that person was right.”

“Maybe I don’t deserve this.”

“Maybe I should have stood up for myself more.”

Maybe. Those maybe’s can kill us inside.

Chances are, some things in life were our fault. But some, were not. Only we know for sure. But we can’t keep living there – in those moments of pain. The more we try to stuff down those hurts, the harder it is to move on and be free.

Yes, we need to forgive. If only to release ourselves from the grasp someone else has on us. If only to understand and know, that we too, will need forgiving for something we do at some point, somewhere in time.

But it takes time. And it takes love.

Do you love yourself enough to be able to let go of your hatred? Your bitterness? Your anger?

It’s okay. It’s okay to be happy, even though you went through great sorrow.

It’s okay to laugh, even when you’ve shed so many tears.

It’s okay to want to be alone at times. Or not to be alone at times.

Your feelings are yours alone. Yours to feel. Yours to embrace. For feelings keep us soft. They keep us moving and growing.

So forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for holding onto something that is so personal. Something that impacted you in such a great way. You’ve been hurt.

But forgive and let it go. Release it. Don’t carry it with you anymore.

It’s time to be free from those hurts and not let them own you any more.

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