Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Having the Courage to Let Your Children Fail

Probably one of the toughest things about being a parent is watching my children fail. I don’t like to see them make mistakes. In fact, I see it as my job to prepare and equip them enough to help prevent them from making mistakes. But in doing this, I sometimes forget they are human. They WILL mess up. They WILL make mistakes – whether I like it or not.

It can be so hard to stand by when you see one of these times coming in your child’s life. Whether they are young and still in your home, or an adult – it’s never easy to bite your tongue or not rush in to rescue them. But sometimes, it’s vital.

When we let our children fail, sometimes that is the only way they will grow. It may be the only thing that pushes them towards accountability and responsibility. If they forgot to do their homework or waited until the last minute to do a huge project, they need to learn from it. We can’t rush in and help them or they will just repeat the error again another time.

If they fail to pay their electric bill or waste their finances recklessly as a young adult, we can’t just front them cash all of the time for it only provides a temporary solution to their problem. It doesn’t help them handle the mistake in judgment they made, so it’s not repeated.

Love takes courage. Love does the tough things sometimes. And if we truly love our children, we have to do whatever it takes to help them be independent, reliable adults that are full of integrity, honesty, and respect.

When you love someone it’s natural to want to help them out in life. It’s instinctive to want to lavish blessings on them. But it’s not always in their best interests. Sometimes it just makes problems bigger or puts them off to be addressed at a later date.  Real love sees the big picture and focuses on it instead of just the here, now, and temporal.

It’s never easy to stand by and watch someone you love fail. In fact, it hurts. It’s painful. For when someone you love hurts, you hurt too. But having the courage to do that to help them become a better, wiser, and stronger person in the long run – is one of the greatest gifts you can ever give them. 


GammySel said...

I can relate to these words so much. I find it so hard to allow them to do it... I have had to learn to trust the foundation in Christ I gave them and release them to Him. Daily....they are 21,20,18,16,15-- some grown and the last two getting there fast.
Lord be with us all.


Dionna said...

Angie - It is definitely a daily release, isn't it?

Thanks for stopping by.