Friday, December 7, 2012

I Don't Know What I Am Doing

I know a few things in life.

I know what I believe, what I value, and who I love. I know the kind of person I want to be and the character qualities and fruits of the spirit that I want my life to be about.

Everything else? Well, I kind of just feel my way.

I don’t really know what my next move in life will be. I don’t always know if I’m making the right decision.

Sometimes I tell my children no when I should say yes and I say yes when I should say no. And sometimes I feel guilty for things that I shouldn’t. And I don’t feel convicted over things my heart should be tendered towards.

But I submit before God daily. I analyze my heart constantly. I raise my children with the hope and intention that they too, will value integrity, honesty, love, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self control.

All I do hinges on values, morals, and character. Who I am, who I invite to be a big part of my life, and where I spend my time. What I read, what I listen to and watch; my goals.

All the rest is quicksand for me. I just do my best at cooking. I try to eat healthier and healthier each year. I clean because I have to.

I don’t know the best way to do those things. I’m not gifted in many areas. And I can’t predict the future. 

I don’t know what I am doing. I’m just “doing” the best I can. Each day. Each moment.  And I’m hoping that as long as I have God’s character in me and I value the morals and traits that I know He has asked of me – that somehow everything will fall together as it should.

For the only things I truly know how to do – are to embrace those qualities in my heart and life.


Jenn said...

This was lovely. Honest, articulate and thought provoking. Thank you for the reminder that we are all doing our best to find our way :)

¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·`¤... Jennifer

Dionna said...

Thanks, Jenn. I'm really glad you liked it.