What can you do for me? Isn’t that the way things feel sometimes? That everybody wants something from you? Whether it’s as a mom who chauffeurs their child around and does everything for them, or it’s as a friend….no relationship is healthy if that person simply uses you to get what they need or want all the time.
It’s so important to get to the point where you realize that for your own emotional well-being, you need to implement boundaries in your life and in your relationships. You need to learn when to say, “No more.”
I’ve had those moments. Those days. Those times where I’ve realized that I can’t continue to let myself be used by a certain someone. It’s one thing to give, be generous and love. But it’s another to allow yourself to consistently be taken for granted. It’s not healthy. For you – or for the other person.
In those moments, and on those days, you have to get to the point (as I have) where you say, “Today, I’m going to focus on me, because no one else is.”
If no one else is thinking of your emotional health – YOU need to.
If no one else is taking care of your physical well-being – YOU need to.
If no one else is being considerate of your time or your efforts – YOU need to. Not to be narcissistic and self-involved…but for sanity, clarity, and renewal. You can’t let yourself be run down, run over, and then allow yourself to stand up only to go through it all again! That’s not love. On your part or the part of the person who is taking advantage.
It may not be easy to change the rules of a relationship. If a child is used to your giving them things all the time and abandoning your own agenda for theirs – they won’t like it when you decide you’re not at their beck and call of all the time anymore. The same is true for any other relationship where you feel like your own needs and well being are not only being neglected, but overlooked all together.
In order to help others, we first need to be in a healthy spot ourselves. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We also need to maintain that health in all those areas throughout the duration of our relationships. If a current relationship in your life isn’t a two-way street where there is not only take but give as well, then it’s time to put your foot down, and love yourself enough to say ‘no more.’ Things are going to change. It’s time to start saying, “Starting today, I’m going to remember to focus on my own emotional, spiritual, and physical health too.”