Sunday, December 7, 2014

No One Has The Right To Control Someone Else

There are people in our lives who just aren’t good for us. They may love us, they may want the best for us… but they can sometimes not see past what’s important to themselves.

People don’t often see it, when they are suffocating, stifling, or hindering us. They don’t realize that they can be controlling. They don’t mean to hurt us.

But they do.  Maybe not so much in words, but in how they relate to us and in the input they give into our lives.

It’s just not in our best interests.

You see; people can color what we want for our own lives – with THEIR own agenda, thoughts, and wishes. They try to talk us into things, they try to mold our dreams into how they see the future should go. 

It’s not done with malice. But it’s still being done.

We don’t even always see it happening until our emotions are entangled in the friendship, relationship, or romance.

That’s why having many people who have input into our lives is important. You should never just listen to the thoughts and counsel of only one person. Even if that’s one person you love a whole lot.   You should seek out advice and input in many ways and from many respected advisors.

If we are in a relationship (whatever kind of relationship that may be), it’s important to get breaks from that person so you can get your thoughts into focus. Breathe. Think for yourself and focus.  If someone wants to utilize all of your time and doesn’t want you talking to other people or getting their opinion – that should be a big red flag. They are trying to control you.

It can be so hard to break away from someone who interjects all of their time, care, and input into your life. After all, they do care about you. But it’s not being done in a healthy manner. For a healthy friendship, relationship, or romance to happen, two people need to be allowed to have their own opinions, dreams, and wishes. Encouragement should be given for these to flourish.

Someone who truly loves you will want the best for your life…. even if that doesn’t include them. Because they will want you to be the best you, you can be.

Chances are if you are in an unhealthy relationship right now, deep down, you know it. But you don’t want to lose that person.  That’s understandable. But think about your own future. Do you want to lose yourself? Your dreams? Your ability to freely be the person you know you can be? Lose other relationships that are important to you?

No one has the right to control someone else. No one else has the right to tell another person what they should feel or want for their life. For we all feel and want different things. We can encourage. We can give hope. We can advise and pray for wisdom. But we should never tug and pull on someone to do what WE want them to do.

Get some space. Get some fresh air and room to breathe and think for yourself. You have better instincts than you know. Believe in yourself and in the direction your heart is telling you to go in.

Do what’s best for YOU. And let the rest of the chips fall where they may.

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