Monday, May 18, 2015

You Have To Understand, That No One May Understand

A husband can always think that he works harder than his wife. The wife on the other hand, will never be convinced that her job is not harder than her husband’s.

A military wife deals with her husband being gone for extended durations at a time. She will never understand how another wife can get so scared and weak, when her husband goes out of town for just two nights.

They are differences of perspective, to be sure. And life is full of them. Someone will always feel one way, while someone else will come along and challenge those very feelings that they, themselves, have conquered or endured on a greater scale.

Neither person is right or wrong. We are all simply living different lives on different scales. We all have different pressure points that are weaknesses for us. God made some of us to be tougher, and others of us to be softer. Both are beautiful in their ability to handle the life they’ve been given.

The thing is, it doesn’t help us when we are the ones going through something and we feel like our feelings are cast aside, laughed at (possibly), or ignored.  We want to feel validated. Listened to. Helped!

You have to understand, that there are some times in life, where no one may understand. Ever.

I know. It stinks. But there are just some things in life where it seems we are meant to go through them, alone. Only with our feelings, thoughts, and our God. And somehow, we have to reconcile with them.

It is good, to see what others have been able to handle. It shows us we have the ability to be stronger and tougher than we thought we could be. It’s also good to learn to be empathetic to someone else’s position and point of view – even if we feel they should handle it better. We are not them. We don’t live with their struggles – so how can we possibly ridicule someone for not being like us?

It is true. There will be times where it seems as if no one in the world understands us. (As a reminder, our God does. And He’s with us in those times.)  During these moments and challenging seasons, try to think of how you will navigate what you’re going through, if there is no one who will ever understand. Will it change your feelings? Will it impact your choices and actions?

Sometimes the times where I’ve gained the most strength, are the times where I’ve decided for myself that it doesn’t matter if no one else understands. I UNDERSTAND. And I’m committed to my viewpoint. Sure, it would be encouraging to get the affirmation of those around me – but it may not come. And if I can understand this and make some choices that will help me help myself, then that’s what I must do.

People will let us down. They will disappoint. But we can always learn how to take care of our own emotions and feelings by setting boundaries in our lives, being proactive with certain choices and decisions, and finding ways to encourage ourselves and help keep us going.

My friend, I wish with all my heart that someone would understand your feelings. But they may not. And they may not understand me. That doesn’t mean they are right and you are wrong or vice versa. It simply means they don’t walk in your shoes and see things from where you are standing.

Hang in there. Keep seeking God’s wisdom and guidance. And use this time to remind yourself to offer understanding to someone else when they seek it. For you will then know, what it’s like to stand in the shoes of the misunderstood.

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