I Don't Need a Bucket List

Lots of people have “bucket lists.” Things they want to do that year, or throughout their whole lives.

I think it’s truly great.

In fact, my husband had a bucket list when he turned 50. He had all sorts of fun things on it to do – not just large things. He wanted to skip down a street, roll down a hill, do a dot-to-dot, climb a tree – and more. My favorite things were the little things he chose to do. The things that reminded him to enjoy the simple things in life.

It was fun to watch him, and it was fun to do some of his “bucket list” things with him.

But for me, I don’t need a bucket list. And I’ll tell you why.

I have done far more in my life, than I ever could have dreamed of doing. I have ziplined in Guatemala, climbed the Eiffel Tower, touched a dolphin, and seen a lightening storm over the ocean. I’ve seen the miracle of birth with my two daughters, felt the love and friendship with someone who doesn’t even speak my language, and felt the beauty of romance.

I've touched a rock that someone thousands of years old, touched. I've kissed the face of someone I've loved dearly - who has passed on. I've gotten chills down my arms as God has revealed that He protected me and answered a deeply-held prayer request. 

I've seen the Grand Canyon, Mount Rushmore, walked the Mall of America, stood in the FOUR CORNERS, gone on a swamp ride, seen a grizzly through binoculars, white water rafted, gone up the side of a volcano, hula danced, seen a carving of Michelangelo, and gone horseback riding on the beach.

I've been able to do A LOT.

I have travelled to more places than I ever thought I’d visit – Ireland, Jamaica, Guatemala, Panama, Scotland, England, Belgium, and France.

I have lived in many different states – Oregon, Nevada, Idaho, and now Texas.

I have gone on road trips all across the U.S.

Most all of these things were unexpected gifts in my life. I didn’t pursue them. I didn’t dream of them. They just naturally came about.

I’m blessed. And I know it.

Everything I do from here on out, is just ‘extra’ for me. I’ve already experienced, and seen more than I could have dreamed possible. So everything I’m able to do from this point on, is a “cherry” on top of the huge cake I’ve already been allowed to eat in my life.

I don’t need a bucket list. The only things I desire from this point on have to do with those people I love, good health, and rich friendships. Sure, there are things that I think would be cool to do. But I don’t NEED to do them. I’m happy enough with what I’ve already been able to do.

Life truly is a gift. We just have to realize when we’ve unwrapped it. And I’ve gotten more gifts in this life than I deserve. How could I ever ask for more?

A Deeper Poverty In People's Hearts

I’ve been on a few mission trips. They changed me. They expanded my heart. I forever think of life differently.

Poverty is a hard thing to witness when you realize you have so much. A toy. A pot. A mirror. Things you think are expected needs are luxuries for some. That’s a real eye opener.

But the one thing that stunned me the most was how happy most of the people I met were. The joy in their eyes and hearts was contagious. Convicting. To be happy with so little.

Over time, I’ve been stirred to focus on a deeper poverty that exists; one that doesn’t seem to be getting as much attention. The poverty in people’s hearts.

I believe we should always help those less fortunate than us. We should help those who have no money, need food, and find themselves in dire situations. Not just in other countries, but in our homeland as well. But I also believe that we shouldn’t just help those suffering from monetary poverty. We need to start taking action on the poverty that exists in a very real way in the heart’s and souls of millions.

I believe that if people didn’t have empty spaces inside of them, there would be less violence.  There would be less selfishness. Less greed. Less sexual deviance.

People are hurting. They are lost. They feel empty. They are struggling to figure out who they are. WHY they are.

People are caught up in empty quests of money, image, fame, adventure, and greed and finding its lure fades away. They still see their marriages fall apart. There kids ignore them. There finances blow up.  It’s all temporary.

There is a deep, deep poverty in people’s hearts that needs to be addressed. There is a loss of morals, values, and honor. Only once it is rediscovered, will people start feeling fulfilled again.

We need to love one another. Invest in each other. Forgive each other. Respect one another. Be kind. Be tenderhearted. Give grace and mercy when it’s needed. We need to start eradicating poverty. Physical poverty.

And emotional.

It just takes you and I. To care. To love. To feel.

Will you?

The Beauty That Lies Within the Busyness

Step into the last year and a half of my life with me.

Last May, we put our house up for sale in Boise, Idaho. It sold in two weeks. From that moment on, life has been a whirlwind.

We packed up and moved into an apartment in June. Around the end of July, we drove to Las Vegas, NV where we THOUGHT we’d be moving. During the couple days we were there, God spoke to all of our hearts and clearly told us that wasn’t what He wanted for us. So, we cut our trip short and drove to San Antonio, TX where God DID lead us to move to!  We made the long drive home and started packing up the remainder of our stuff that wasn’t sitting in storage.

During this time period, my husband’s employer went through the third round of layoffs that we’d been through in the 15 years he’d been employed there. We decided since we were planning on leaving anyways, it would be in our advantage to take the severance package and be laid off. That is exactly what happened.

My husband got laid off and we flew back to San Antonio for two days to find a home to rent. Amidst much stress, by God’s grace, we found one.

Flew back to Boise, finished packing up, and two weeks later, our whole family made the 4 day drive to San Antonio, Texas in September.

The first couple of nights in our rental home were an adventure. We slept in an empty house in sleeping bags. But it was memorable and fun. After a few days, we then flew to Georgia where a dear friend got married and my two girls were bridesmaids. We were there a few days, flew back to San Antonio, spent another night on the floor and then our truck and our belongings arrived on the same day where I spent three hours enrolling my girls in one of the biggest public schools I’ve ever seen.

My husband enrolled in a 9 week course to help him diversify his skills a bit.

In December, we had my daughter’s boyfriend from England come and stay with us for a month.

In the spring, we flew back to England, to meet this same young man’s family. We also made a vacation out of it – not knowing when we’d get another one, and got to see Scotland and Ireland while we were there. It was a wonderful trip. We flew home and found out that my husband had been hired by the company whose course he had taken. A true praise – not just that he got the job, but he got hired around the same time ours severance and unemployment ran out. God is so good to us!

In May, I flew back to Boise, Idaho where I was in town for only about 12 hours before I again made the 3 ½ day drive back to Odessa, TX. And this time with my stepson, daughter-in-law, and grandkids who had just gotten a worship pastor job there. We were so excited to have them move to Texas – even if it was 5 hours away! My family met us upon arrival, and after helping the kids maneuver through an unforeseen situation with an unlivable rental, we then made the 5 hour drive home.

In June, my daughter’s boyfriend from England came and lived with us for the whole summer. My youngest daughter also had a friend from home come and visit us for a week.  We shopped and shopped and finally found my oldest her first car in Austin.

And we started building a house.

Summer was busy.

Not to mention, throughout this time period, I got two wonderful writing jobs. One with the San Antonio Marriage Initiative, and one with HealthyLeaders.com (which will debut October 3^rd!). I have been so humbled and excited to be a participant in these two fantastic organizations! Both, which aim to serve the Lord in all they do. I’m so in love with, and in awe of, how God works.

So, here we sit. A year and a half later and our home is set to be ready for us to move in, hopefully by next week. So, we’ve been packing again.

I am SO ready to move into my own home. Unpack. Decorate. Settle in. And settle down! I’m ready for routine again. But did I mention it’s my daughter’s senior year in high school? So we are scheduling senior pictures, and gearing up for things like graduation, what will she do afterwards, and all that comes with being a senior.

Life is busy.

I never in a million years would have guessed that life would have gone at such speed in the last year and a half. I never could have seen all the joys and blessings that have come our way – even if they HAVE left us a little tired from time to time!

I am SO thankful to be here in Texas. I’m so thankful for my husband’s job, my daughter’s job, my daughter’s car, my own writing jobs, and our new home. GOD IS GOOD. Yes, He’s good. ALL OF THE TIME. I see in hindsight how He led us here. To this moment in time. And I feel so loved by Him.

It’s been one heck of a ride. But you know what? I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I’ve learned a lot and I’ve had a lot of fun along the way. To everything there is a season…. And this is the season I’m currently living in.

May I never fail to see the beauty that lies within the busyness. And may I never fail to see the love that my God unfolds for me along the way. It’s worth every step.

It Was More Than I Thought It Would Be

When I was a young girl, I’d often dream and envision what life would be like when I became an adult. Of course as any young child does, I dreamed of being able to stay up as late as I wanted, eat whenever I wanted, and do what I wanted, when I wanted.

Children think adult life is so much easier and more fun.

Now as I look back, I can see how everything about being an adult and going through life is MORE than I thought it would be.

I have loved more than I thought I would. I have hurt more than I thought I would.

I have travelled more and gone to places I never thought I’d ever go to.

I have been blessed more than I ever could have thought I’d be.  And I have gone through harder lessons more than I ever thought I’d have to go through.

Everything has been “more.”

It’s all been more than I could have asked or dreamed of, and more than I wanted at times.

How could I possibly ask God for more, when He’s already given me so much more than I deserve?

Yet on the other hand, how could I possibly handle more of life’s challenges, when I’ve already handled more than I ever thought I’d be able to face?

It’s all been more than I thought it would be. More blessings, more joy, more laughs. More difficulties, more heartaches, and more tears.

MORE.

It’s life. My life.  The ups, downs, peaks, and valleys. All of it. And I’m thankful to be living it and learning from it.

All the “more’s” make up my life. My story. My legacy. They are woven together in a beautiful fashion. The sad chapters as well as the happy endings are a part of what molds and makes me unique. They are what make me love stronger and deeper, mourn harder, and grow.

Each day is a gift in its own way. And I have so many more to come that will be MORE than I could have imagined or thought possible.

More to come. More of my Lord, more of my life, and more to give others. More to learn, more to give up, and more to embrace.

May I live each moment with more of me invested. For not everyone gets the gift of tomorrow…. The gift of “more” or the chance to live out more of their story.

For that, I will always be thankful.

The Beauty of England, Scotland, and Ireland

Our family recently got to travel overseas for a brief stint. I am so thankful for the opportunities I’ve been given to see God’s world. It never fails to amaze me. It is so beautiful.

I find big cities beautiful. I find the countryside beautiful. I find people with their differing customs, accents, and way of living… beautiful.

And I just wanted to share a little slice of it with you.

They May Use a Different Word, But It's the Same Thing (England Vs. America)

We recently had a young acquaintance from England come and stay with us for a month. It was a fun and eye opening experience as we immediately noticed all the differences in products and in the terms we used to identify those products.

I guess I assumed that since we both spoke English, that there wouldn’t be that much of a difference in how we spoke. But I was wrong. There were so many different terms for things that I started to keep a list, and even then, I couldn’t keep track of them all!

My post on the differences between North and South America (You can find that here:) has been so popular with my readers, that I thought it would be fun to do one on the different names for things from England to America.

So here goes:

In America, we have turn signals. In England, they call them “indicators.”

In  America, we have Netflix. In England, they have “Lovefilm.”

In America, our kids go to school on a yellow bus. Have as long as I can remember. In England, they go to school on white and black busses and they are double decker busses!

I buy boxes of granola cereal at the store here in America. In England, they call it “crunchy nut cereal.”

In England, they refer to America’s “shopping carts” as “trolleys.”

In America, we cook on a stove. In England, they call it a “hob.”

Commercials in America are called “adverts” in England.

Popsicles? Those are ice lolleys.

A simple game of tic tac toe? That is called “nots and crosses.”

I get tons and tons of plastic bags from the grocery store. In England, they call those “packets.” And they fold them into triangles to save space and for neat storage. (I was taught how to do this and it really is handy!)

In America, we have q-tips. In England, they have “earbuds.”

In America, we have Chapstick. In England, they have “lip ice.”

In America, we have ping pong. In England, they have “table tennis.”

When I need to fuel up, in America, I go to the “gas station.” In England, they fuel up at a “petrol station.”

A simple piece of pecan pie (said as pee-kon pie) is pronounced “peekun” pie in England.

One of the funniest differences I ran across was when we were playing a game and our guest needed an eraser for his pencil. He looked at my husband and asked if he had any “rubbers.” You guessed it. An “eraser” in America is called a “rubber” in England. We had to explain to him that “rubber” means something entirely different here!

A trunk of a car in America – in England, is a “boot.”

A ketchup packet at your local fast food restaurant is referred to as a “sachet.”

“Posh” in England is simply referred to as “rich” in America.

And instead of getting the “mail,” – you go and get the “post.”

Lastly? “Just now” really means “later” if you’re from England. Try and wrap your head around that!

The differences are plenty. But it was fun to see that so many common items like band-aids are referred to by an entirely different word if you’re from England.

Oh, how the world gets smaller, the more we learn about each other though! And what deeper understanding we gain in the process.

We are all the same. We just come at life from a different perspective.

Do What You Think You Cannot Do

Each time I do something or overcome something in my life that scares me, or something that I thought I’d never be able to do – I grow courage. I get stronger. I am more satisfied with who I am as a person and I feel more capable.

You see, that thing called ‘fear?’ It holds us back too often. And we let it.

There are so many things in our lives that we are afraid of. What if we chose just one of those things….and we faced it? What if we did just one thing that we thought we couldn’t do?

Maybe it’s getting on a plane and flying, calling someone up and asking them to eat out for lunch (even if you’re afraid they’ll say no), or maybe it’s something entirely different. Whatever it is, what if you COULD do it? What if you DID do it?

I remember in Guatemala how I was terrified to go ziplining above the trees. Yet, inside, I knew I would have fun. I haven’t been that scared in a long time. I had butterflies in my stomach, my arms were literally shaking, and I couldn’t hold still because of my jittery nerves. But I was right. After the first run, I smiled. For it was sooo much fun! And I was so glad that I hadn’t let my fear stop me from doing something that turned out to be so memorable and beautiful.

Sometimes fear is there to protect us. Sometimes, it is simply there because of our own pride or lack of confidence. We don’t think we are capable or gifted. We don’t think we deserve something. Whatever the reasoning – fear can hold us back.

Don’t let it.

Do what you think you cannot do. One thing. Today. And watch the smile creep across your face as you become more of who you are meant to be.

Damaged Furniture

In September 2013, we moved from Boise, Idaho to San Antonio, Texas. I was so excited. I’d waited for that day for 3 years. To move from the cold to somewhere sunnier and warmer.

We’d already gone through a couple of transitions with the quick sale of our house and moving into a tiny apartment 3 floors up. So for the first time ever, we decided to hire some movers to help us move our furniture out and load up the trailers.

It wasn’t cheap.

We thought we were being smart. So many times before we’d done it ourselves; relying on family and friends. It was grueling. Stressful. And hard.

Our “smart” move took forever. Loaders on both ends took forever and made us nervous as they tipped, turned, and moved our furniture in and out.

I know furniture is just “material.” You can’t take it with you when you die. But we take very good care of our things. And we don’t replace it often.  So, let me tell you when my furniture arrived in Texas – how distressed we were to see the damage done to it.

Things were dented. Rub marks from no blankets being used. Scrapes. Things broken completely.

Just about every piece of furniture we owned was now marked up in some way, shape, or form.

I can’t tell you what it did to see the big tear in the top of my hanging porch swing. Something I’d always wanted. Something my husband and I bought together as an anniversary gift.

Or the legs missing from my sofa. The one I’d spent almost a year saving up myself to buy.

The nicks and scrapes out of the precious wood rocking horse we’d splurged and bought over on the coast.

There were broken shelves. Dents and scrapes on my nice black fridge.

You name it.

I was upset. My husband was upset. But he felt what was done was done. We’d hired two different moving companies – one in Idaho and one in Texas. Who was to prove who did what damage? They’d blame each other.

I was going to pursue it. I felt most of the damage was done by the ones who loaded our stuff up. But since we didn’t even get our stuff for a week, and then we had to fly off for a wedding out of state – the normal two week reporting time for damage was done.

And we were left with furniture that would never be the same.

We were “out.” At a time when my husband was unemployed and we didn’t know when we’d be able to replace things.

I WAS upset. But the days ticked on and the sadness dissipated a little. We were all together. We were in a new place. Together. Happy.

And things ARE just things after all.  Yes, I still bemoaned the unfairness of it all. I wanted someone to make things right but I knew that wasn’t going to happen. I was now left with dented, broken, damaged, rubbed, scraped, nicked, and bruised furniture.

It reminded me of how you can’t ever save anything. It gets used. Sometimes it gets abused. But you need to enjoy it. Yes, take care of it the best you can. But nothing lasts forever.

Not relationships. Not jobs. Not people. And certainly not our things.

When we least expect it, we get dented, scraped, and broken. And it’s unfair.
Someone doesn’t always pay for the damage done to us. They get away with it and we are never the same.

We can choose how to react and what kind of attitude to have from that point on. We can sit in the unfairness of it all, or be sad for awhile and then let the days show us what we have to be happy about. We can look on our blessings – as I did.

Life IS unfair. We DO get damaged. But we are still here. And we can still be of use.

Just like my furniture.

Still Learning the Ropes: From Idaho to Texas (church, school and hair)

We have been in Texas for about 2 ½ months now. Honestly, it feels like we’ve been gone at least twice that long! When I realize we’ve only been here 2 ½ months, I see just how much we’ve packed into that time frame and why some things aren’t quite “concrete” in our lives yet.

So, I think we’ve found a church home. That’s good news. It’s huge. One thing I’ve noticed about the churches here is that most of them have police officers outside on-hand to direct traffic. I had never seen that before! And at our church, at the ladies Bible Study they have water bottles for you. A whole bottle, people! Laugh at me, if you will, but in Idaho, I’m so used to a Styrofoam cup and a pitcher of water. If I want a whole water and don’t want to pay for it? Well, the only places I can think of getting that, is at the bank when you open a loan, or at the car dealership when closing a deal on a car.  My husband went to a men’s event somewhere else last weekend, and he too, got a water bottle! We are uptown now! HA HA

I’ve noticed quite a few differences in schools. They, too, have policemen after school on hand to direct traffic! I can see why, because, well, there is a LOT of traffic. My girls’ school is huge. HUGE. It looks like a college campus sitting atop the hill.  In fact, their school has a welcome center. A WELCOME CENTER! I thought only hospitals had those!  Just look at this picture my daughter took one day of all the kids in the halls going to their next class!

Here, school doesn’t start until 8:45 am. It is SO nice. Back in Idaho, school started anywhere from 7:45 to 8:15. So it’s nice to have a little later start in the morning. But I will say we’ve been adjusting to the later release time. They get out at 4:05 instead of 3:15 – what we were used to. So the evening gets late quickly once you get home, crash a little bit from your day, and eat dinner. Not much time to dawdle!

I think one of my favorite things about schools in Texas (or at least the one my girls attend), is they have two sets of books for the kids. A school set and a “take home” set. So when we enrolled them, they each got these huge stacks of books for all their classes to take home and leave there.  No carrying heavy books back and forth to school! At school, they study out of the classroom set. Then they have a book at home to do their homework in! It’s genius.  They turn them in at the end of the year and of course are responsible for damages or missing books at that time. But I love it. I felt so bad for all my girls used to have to carry; especially when they had a game day of volleyball. They’d have their books, their purse, and their game stuff. Too much. They were so laden down with bags. Not anymore!

One thing I am struggling with a little bit right now is finding a good hair salon. So far, the quotes I’ve been getting for hair are quite a bit higher than in Idaho. And they seem to nickel and dime you for everything. Want to get a trim? No problem. Oh, but you want it washed and styled too? That’s extra. Want a highlight. Okay. But if you want a trim also – extra. So is wash and style or a deep conditioning. Every little thing – extra. So it really adds up. Not only that, quite a few salons have “ranks” of hairdressers. You can have a freshman stylist for cheaper. But once she gets good or passes some milestones set by the salon, then she becomes a sophomore stylist and your prices go up. And so on until she is a senior stylist. So even if you like who you have, your prices will go up immediately when her rank goes up. That’s kind of frustrating. So, still on the hunt for a place I can trust my head with permanently.

Overall, I’m still having a blast discovering all these differences. We’ve been having so much fun looking at the weather (even though we’ve had a cold snap of low 30’s) – because we laugh and smile when we see “home” is -2 or a high of 9. (Sorry, guys!)  And NO SNOW or ice for us yet this winter. That’s one of my favorites!

I think I will grow to love Texas more and more even though I know it’s imperfect. Just as Idaho was imperfect.

I’m so thankful to be here. And just having fun sharing with you all my discoveries.

When They Tell You To "Do It Afraid"

I hear over and over again about how we shouldn’t live life in our comfort zones. That we need to stretch ourselves. Do it ‘afraid’ or It’s not about us.

All true. In a way.

I do think there is balance that is needed in a life. I think we were created with certain bents and personalities for a reason. After all, not everyone was meant to bungee jump or skydive. Some of us not only are afraid to do those things, we weren’t meant to do those things. They are not in our make-up. They aren’t “us.”

God tells us to “come as you are.” And He made me “as I am.” So I have to deduce that certain parts of my personality are meant to be.

I’m meant to be cautious. Thoughtful. I’m meant to love to laugh. I’m not meant to be a risk-taker. Now, knowing that about myself gives me a lot of freedom. It helps me not feel so pressured to do things that aren’t who I am really about. On the other hand, knowing that, also means that I need to be careful not to let that hinder me in life. I can’t use that as an excuse to not engage or do things that maybe God is calling me to do.

For sometimes we ARE meant to go outside of our comfort zones. And in the process, we learn to love a new side of ourselves. A new side of our lives.

We have to carefully evaluate everything we say ‘yes’ to in life. We have to fully understand ourselves, our limitations, and our boundaries. We need to know how we will probably respond in certain situations and times. Weigh all of that together as we seek to find our answer.

It’s not as simple as ‘do it afraid.’ Or, ‘we aren’t meant to live in our comfort zones.’ For, yes, we are to go outside of our own little worlds – but I think we’re not meant to go outside of our gifting. And we DO each have a gifting!!

You are who you are. God made you as such a unique, woven together individual. Live in your strengths the best that you can. Push yourself sometimes to grow and stretch – but don’t do things that you were never meant to do. Things you shouldn’t do. Things that are not YOU.

For God says to COME AS YOU ARE. And He made you that way.

This Girl Is Moving To Texas

I have lived in the Northwest most all of my life. Different states, but still, the western part of America.

For the first time in my life, that is going to change.

I am moving from Idaho to Texas.

It still feels a little surreal to say. Texas.

I will have a whole new world opened up to me. Some exciting, some fascinating, some hard and maybe even scary.

I do not embrace the fact that I will live in the land of scorpions, snakes, and tarantulas.

But I do embrace the fact that I will live in the land of warm sunshine. And I’m so excited.

It feels as if a whole new world has opened up to me. Who knows what is around the corner? What friends I will meet. What opportunities will present themselves to me?

My girls are even excited and that is so important to me.

I’ve been praying for a very long time and I’ve already seen God in the details, in the moments along the way in this journey. His timing is evident – His hand being unveiled with flourish.

I can’t wait to see what He has up His sleeve for us.

I learned a long time ago that God lives in your heart never just in a certain place. You can find Him in every state and every country inside of His people.

I am so excited to meet His people in Texas. To love and be loved by new friends. To wonder how I ever lived life without knowing someone.

I’m excited to discover new things about myself and to discover new things with my children.

I’ve lived my life in Oregon. Nevada. Oregon again. Idaho. And now Texas.

I may have a lot to learn about living in a new land, but I will be doing it alongside of my family. Together on an adventure.

Here we go.

Putting It All On the Line

Three years ago. After 12 years of being in Idaho, I was done with the bitter, cold Winters. Ice, snow, fog, negative degree temps – I was done. DONE.

But there was something called the economy. And a house. The timing wasn’t right.

It took 3 years of talking, looking, dreaming.

We finally put our house up for sale in June and it sold in two weeks. We had a huge garage sale, sold some stuff on Craigs List, packed up, and moved into a tiny apartment – the four of us.

We continued to look and seek where God might have us go and He altered our plans a couple of times.

Then in August, my husband found out his company was laying people off for the 4^th time in the 15 years he’d been there. Knowing we wanted to head out before winter of this year, he took one of the biggest risks of his life. He stepped forward to take the voluntary layoff with a severance package.

Yes. He quit his job.

And we found ourselves again. Packing up. Only this time, it wasn’t going to be just across town. It was going to be to a new life. A new state. New school. New home to live in. And hopefully, without too long of a wait, a new job.

We risked everything.

It was exciting. It was scary.

But what better way to exercise your faith than to trust God with all you have? To trust Him to provide a home, a job, a church, friends…a life?

That’s exactly what we did.  For we concluded it was better to try and fail, than never try at all and always wonder.

And we saw God amidst all the details. Sometimes we may have walked blindly, but I don’t think we ever walked alone.

…..to be continued

The Road To Our New Home

It happened in the Winter of 2010/2011. I’d just had enough. Enough snow, enough ice, enough rain, and clouds. I’d had enough of feeling a bit on the “outside.”

I longed for warm weather. Sunshine. Palm trees. Tank tops.  Dinner on the porch. Instead, it was the second spring in a row that I sat in my office working by a little space heater running furiously.

I’m not sure if God’s hand was in my feelings, or if my feelings God decided to have a hand in. But either way – a hunger started to grow in me for something different. More.

I didn’t want to stay in the “it’ll do.” I wanted to thrive. For me, that meant sunshine.

I talked to my husband and he had some similar feelings. Some of his were for different reasons. Mission trip after mission trip had grabbed hold of his heart, as well. He wanted a change. Something more.

There were many moments where I felt like nothing would ever change. And I felt bad for wishing that it would. Certain situations and circumstances I knew were blessings from God and I was afraid to jeopardize them. To jeopardize my kids in a new place. Would it affect their lives negatively forever?

Then I’d hear a podcast. A quote. Read a devotional. And once again my heart would be renewed. I’d be encouraged to not settle. I’d be reminded of who lived inside of me and who gives me my dreams.

The road - although in retrospect seems quite short, it felt like it took forever. But my God is so BIG. He is so amazing.

I believe I will look back and see how God wove a perfect path for our family as we began this quest to a new life in a new place.

…..to be continued

Vacation For the Soul

Overwhelmed.

Worn Out.

Tired.

Exhausted.

Spent.

Broken.

Lonely.

Misunderstood.

What word describes you when life takes it’s toll on your heart? Where can you be found? One of these words….all of them?

I often hear people talk about how they need a “vacation.”  I know what they mean. They mean life has gotten too huge – too fast – too busy. They can’t keep up and they feel like they are spinning their wheels. They feel overwhelmed, worn out, tired, exhausted, spent, broken, lonely, or misunderstood. They just want to collapse and stop. STOP.

I know the feeling of wanting to stop. You feel like you’re on a ride and you can’t get off. It just keeps going and it won’t even slow down long enough for you to catch your breath.

For me – I’ve found that a vacation often doesn’t fix things. For one thing, I’m a mom. Vacation isn’t really a “vacation.” It’s simply relocation for a few days or weeks. Mom still has to be on duty. And you have extra “duty” when you return! No – vacation is simply time in a different locale for the most part.

I HAVE found a place to get vacation for my heart and soul though.  It’s with the Lord. I know – I can hear some of you groaning. But you know what I’ve discovered? Sometimes the last thing we want to do, is the very thing we need the most.  There have been nights where I have literally dragged my tired body to church for ladies Bible Study only to leave recharged and touched to the core. It was the place I needed to be the most. And God knew that – so He spoke to me.

Bible Study. Church. Devotions. Simply quiet time with God. These are the places where I have found a vacation for my heart and soul. I have been invigorated, encouraged, renewed, refueled, and revitalized. I have been given the strength and energy I sought to get through another day – another week. I have been given peace of mind. Support. Love.  A good listener. God has reached into my life and touched it with His perfect combination for that moment and time. Time and time again.

In fact, it’s the only vacation that truly has given me the tangible tools I’ve needed to focus on what is going on around me, what my priorities are, and what needs to be changed. Disneyland can’t do that for me – as much as I love it!

Our hearts need occasional vacations. The world is moving so fast and furious anymore. We need that breath of fresh air blown into our minds, our souls, and our bodies.  If we can just reach out for those things that seem like a little bit of effort – time with God, bible study, church, etc – the effort will disappear into reward as our parched bodies get the nourishment they’ve been hungering for.

Try it.

So Many People Are Hurting Here At Home

America. It’s the land of dreams. The land of freedom. Everyone wants to come here.

I am so lucky to live here. To be born here. I could have been born anywhere in the world and not been able to have the same privileges and freedoms that I have. But, no, I was born in America. And I’m so thankful.

I’ve been to just a few countries. I’ve gone on the mission field a few times and I’ve seen the value in it as well as the shortcomings. I’ve seen what I feel is missing in people’s lives – here at home.

Everyone seems to be talking these days about the need to go to Africa, India, Philippines, Guatemala, Haiti and more. And it IS needed. The poverty in other countries is unfair. But it’s real. We are privileged people and they need our help – because we have the help to give.

But I’ve also had my eyes opened to how many people are hurting here at home. How AMERICA is becoming a mission field. A little bit from poverty, but also from wounds that are deeper than that.; personal and just as hurtful and life altering.

In our own churches and neighborhoods we are ignoring those who live right amongst us. We fail to help someone who is moving and could use help packing up. We hug someone who just lost a spouse or loved one, but we don’t do anything else. No meal, no help mowing their yard or getting them some groceries. We chat and are kind to people we know and love, but struggle to get to know those who are different than us; those who may be gripping with very real internal battles of wanting to kill themselves….or others because they feel so very alone.

Yes. People are hurting here at home. Do we see them? Do we want to? Or do we just focus on other countries because the needs are so apparent for all to see?

I want to see those who are hurting around me. I want to love them and encourage them and hopefully give their lives some joy and hope. I do still want to travel to other countries from time to time so that I won’t lose perspective of all I have….but I want to be a missionary in the land God placed me, as well. America.

We won’t be a land of dreams someday, or a land of freedom, if we continue to ignore the needs of those we live amongst.

The hurting. The neglected. The different. The unloved.

They are here.

Do you see them?