Sometimes You Just Have to Take a "Time-Out" From Life

Sometimes you just have to take a ‘time-out’ from life. 

I’ve been on ‘overload’ for awhile now. Getting my daughter ready to graduate from high school in June, working a part time job, planning a wedding for this Fall… and then just adding in the normal to-do’s of life.

But nobody has been telling me that I have to do it all. I’VE been the one telling ME that I have to do it all.

And I don’t. I can’t.

So, for my own well-being, I decided to say ‘no’ to some of life’s requests.

I didn’t go to this last session of Bible Study.

I told myself “no” to going to some blogger events that have come up in the last couple of months.

I’ve forced myself to relax some days – even though there was laundry and other chores to be done.

It has helped soo much! Lightening my load a little bit helped me focus on what truly was a priority and it has helped me start to get the rest that my body has been craving.

Life doesn’t stop altogether. But, you can quit for awhile on the things that don’t matter quite as much.

Sometimes you just have to say ‘no’ to the chores, and watch a movie. Put something aside and play a family game, or go on a walk.

It’s needed. For sanity. For clarity. For refreshment.

There will always be a list of things that need to get done. There will always be someone who wants something from us. But we are merely human. Our energy is not limitless. 

We need breaks. Time-outs. Time to be alone. Time to rest.

I feel strongly about following through on commitments and keeping your word. But there are times in life, where it might just matter a little bit more to focus on staying in tune with your own heart and soul. And to do that, you have to have to be given the time to hear them.

You are the only you that ever will be. So don’t forget to take care of that YOU that can get worn out once in awhile.

Take just a brief ‘time-out’ once in awhile.  Make yourself the focus and priority – so that you can fully be in the moment of your commitments – giving others the priority they deserve, as well.

Do You Ever Wish, You Could Help The Whole World?

Do you ever just wish you could help the whole world? That you could help every child who cries, or every person who doesn’t know what it feels like to be loved?

Sometimes, I wish that. I wish that I could help everyone.

I wish that I could give self-esteem, to that teen who doesn’t have it. That teen girl, who looks for value in makeup, hairstyles, beauty, and relationships. Or that teen boy who thinks he has to have a 6 pack of abs, and a beauty on his arm. I wish I could show them that high school doesn’t last forever. That beauty and image are hollow things to fill their hearts with.

I wish I could hug that person who has tears streaming down their face, as they are thinking about trying to kill themselves. Or the person who has no tears at all, because they don’t want to feel. They don’t want to hurt. So they are numb.

I wish I had enough money to help all the Third World countries so that no child would ever starve again, and no mother would have to stand by and helplessly watch.

Oh, how I wish.

Life can feel so helpless at times. The obstacles can seem so overwhelming.

But, I refuse to feel helpless.  Convicted, yes. Saddened, definitely. Empathy, totally. But, I refuse to feel helpless.

Recently, I scrolled through post after post on twitter, of teens who mentioned being depressed, discouraged, and struggling with their self esteem. It may have been something small – but I decided to start replying to some of them and encouraging them. Maybe I’m the only one who will choose to speak to them in their moment of pain - I don’t know. But I refuse to stand by. I refuse to know someone is struggling, and do nothing about it.

There are so many heartbroken people out there. So many, who struggle with their own image. They need love. They need encouragement. They need to feel like they are heard, and that they matter.

I may not be able to help the whole world – but maybe, I can help just one.

For today.

And then maybe tomorrow, I can help another one.

It’s a start.

Sometimes Our Hearts Go Off Course

Sometimes our heart goes off course.  We start on a mission, ministry, or goal and it can be pure. It’s good. God may have called us or led us to that thing, purpose, or vision.

Then, somewhere along the way, that pureness is lost. We aren’t following God’s calling anymore. We aren’t listening to His whispers. We listen only to our own voice, or those who feed into us with things we want to hear.

We get lost along the way and we don’t even know it.

So many things in life are like this. We get tainted by our own ‘press.’ We get filled with our own success. We get lost in the details of the plan and forget the meaning and purpose of what the plan originally was.

Our hearts go off course.

It’s so important to have accountability in our lives. People who won’t just tell us what we want to hear, but people who are honest with us in a gracious and loving way. We need people who have wisdom and discernment – and those who are honest.

We also need to remember we aren’t the boss. We like to think we’re in control, but we’re not. There is a higher power who dictates where we go, when we go, how we go, and when we get there! He can strip us away from that dream just as easily as He gave it to us.

Just because we are gifted in something, doesn’t mean we are pure in using that giftedness.

Just because we were called to something, doesn’t mean our hearts are humble in achieving that calling.

We need to analyze our motivation and our intent on a regular basis in order to keep our heart on the right track. We will only accomplish what God wants us to accomplish and touch hearts in the way He wants them touched, if we allow our hearts to stay on the course that He wants them on. Sometimes we may feel rerouted from original goals. Sometimes we may feel like we are stuck in our tracks and not moving anywhere at all. But we are right where we’re supposed to be if we continue to let God do the leading and guiding.

It only feels right, to be on the right course. We usually internally know when we’ve veered off, but we can do a lot to protect ourselves before we even get to that point. Take the stand today to put boundaries in place, so that you can be right where you flourish and are used the most….

I Don't Need a Bucket List

Lots of people have “bucket lists.” Things they want to do that year, or throughout their whole lives.

I think it’s truly great.

In fact, my husband had a bucket list when he turned 50. He had all sorts of fun things on it to do – not just large things. He wanted to skip down a street, roll down a hill, do a dot-to-dot, climb a tree – and more. My favorite things were the little things he chose to do. The things that reminded him to enjoy the simple things in life.

It was fun to watch him, and it was fun to do some of his “bucket list” things with him.

But for me, I don’t need a bucket list. And I’ll tell you why.

I have done far more in my life, than I ever could have dreamed of doing. I have ziplined in Guatemala, climbed the Eiffel Tower, touched a dolphin, and seen a lightening storm over the ocean. I’ve seen the miracle of birth with my two daughters, felt the love and friendship with someone who doesn’t even speak my language, and felt the beauty of romance.

I've touched a rock that someone thousands of years old, touched. I've kissed the face of someone I've loved dearly - who has passed on. I've gotten chills down my arms as God has revealed that He protected me and answered a deeply-held prayer request. 

I've seen the Grand Canyon, Mount Rushmore, walked the Mall of America, stood in the FOUR CORNERS, gone on a swamp ride, seen a grizzly through binoculars, white water rafted, gone up the side of a volcano, hula danced, seen a carving of Michelangelo, and gone horseback riding on the beach.

I've been able to do A LOT.

I have travelled to more places than I ever thought I’d visit – Ireland, Jamaica, Guatemala, Panama, Scotland, England, Belgium, and France.

I have lived in many different states – Oregon, Nevada, Idaho, and now Texas.

I have gone on road trips all across the U.S.

Most all of these things were unexpected gifts in my life. I didn’t pursue them. I didn’t dream of them. They just naturally came about.

I’m blessed. And I know it.

Everything I do from here on out, is just ‘extra’ for me. I’ve already experienced, and seen more than I could have dreamed possible. So everything I’m able to do from this point on, is a “cherry” on top of the huge cake I’ve already been allowed to eat in my life.

I don’t need a bucket list. The only things I desire from this point on have to do with those people I love, good health, and rich friendships. Sure, there are things that I think would be cool to do. But I don’t NEED to do them. I’m happy enough with what I’ve already been able to do.

Life truly is a gift. We just have to realize when we’ve unwrapped it. And I’ve gotten more gifts in this life than I deserve. How could I ever ask for more?

When They Tell You To "Do It Afraid"

I hear over and over again about how we shouldn’t live life in our comfort zones. That we need to stretch ourselves. Do it ‘afraid’ or It’s not about us.

All true. In a way.

I do think there is balance that is needed in a life. I think we were created with certain bents and personalities for a reason. After all, not everyone was meant to bungee jump or skydive. Some of us not only are afraid to do those things, we weren’t meant to do those things. They are not in our make-up. They aren’t “us.”

God tells us to “come as you are.” And He made me “as I am.” So I have to deduce that certain parts of my personality are meant to be.

I’m meant to be cautious. Thoughtful. I’m meant to love to laugh. I’m not meant to be a risk-taker. Now, knowing that about myself gives me a lot of freedom. It helps me not feel so pressured to do things that aren’t who I am really about. On the other hand, knowing that, also means that I need to be careful not to let that hinder me in life. I can’t use that as an excuse to not engage or do things that maybe God is calling me to do.

For sometimes we ARE meant to go outside of our comfort zones. And in the process, we learn to love a new side of ourselves. A new side of our lives.

We have to carefully evaluate everything we say ‘yes’ to in life. We have to fully understand ourselves, our limitations, and our boundaries. We need to know how we will probably respond in certain situations and times. Weigh all of that together as we seek to find our answer.

It’s not as simple as ‘do it afraid.’ Or, ‘we aren’t meant to live in our comfort zones.’ For, yes, we are to go outside of our own little worlds – but I think we’re not meant to go outside of our gifting. And we DO each have a gifting!!

You are who you are. God made you as such a unique, woven together individual. Live in your strengths the best that you can. Push yourself sometimes to grow and stretch – but don’t do things that you were never meant to do. Things you shouldn’t do. Things that are not YOU.

For God says to COME AS YOU ARE. And He made you that way.

So Many People Are Hurting Here At Home

America. It’s the land of dreams. The land of freedom. Everyone wants to come here.

I am so lucky to live here. To be born here. I could have been born anywhere in the world and not been able to have the same privileges and freedoms that I have. But, no, I was born in America. And I’m so thankful.

I’ve been to just a few countries. I’ve gone on the mission field a few times and I’ve seen the value in it as well as the shortcomings. I’ve seen what I feel is missing in people’s lives – here at home.

Everyone seems to be talking these days about the need to go to Africa, India, Philippines, Guatemala, Haiti and more. And it IS needed. The poverty in other countries is unfair. But it’s real. We are privileged people and they need our help – because we have the help to give.

But I’ve also had my eyes opened to how many people are hurting here at home. How AMERICA is becoming a mission field. A little bit from poverty, but also from wounds that are deeper than that.; personal and just as hurtful and life altering.

In our own churches and neighborhoods we are ignoring those who live right amongst us. We fail to help someone who is moving and could use help packing up. We hug someone who just lost a spouse or loved one, but we don’t do anything else. No meal, no help mowing their yard or getting them some groceries. We chat and are kind to people we know and love, but struggle to get to know those who are different than us; those who may be gripping with very real internal battles of wanting to kill themselves….or others because they feel so very alone.

Yes. People are hurting here at home. Do we see them? Do we want to? Or do we just focus on other countries because the needs are so apparent for all to see?

I want to see those who are hurting around me. I want to love them and encourage them and hopefully give their lives some joy and hope. I do still want to travel to other countries from time to time so that I won’t lose perspective of all I have….but I want to be a missionary in the land God placed me, as well. America.

We won’t be a land of dreams someday, or a land of freedom, if we continue to ignore the needs of those we live amongst.

The hurting. The neglected. The different. The unloved.

They are here.

Do you see them?

Irrelevant

Do we spend our time on irrelevant things. Do we waste away our days doing irrelevant activities?  Do you feel at times, that your life is irrelevant?

I do.

I have.

God always uses these times to show me that something in my life needs to change. Something in my heart.

I’m not wrong, you know. Sometimes our life IS spent doing irrelevant things. Sometimes we are wasting away our days. So many activities abound. But they are meaningless. Irrelevant.

There are so many things that ARE relevant. They usually have to do with relationships. Investing in others. Loving on others. Believing and encouraging others. Spending time with others. Giving to others.

We are relevant. We matter. Every one of us. But our time doesn’t always. It’s just a matter of how we spend it.

Do you need a refocus? A change of course?

Maybe so. Maybe so do we all.

It's Not Glamorous

Self-worth. I seek it. I see most people around me seek it. That desire we all have inside to feel worthwhile and to know what our purpose is in life.

For most of us, we continue to seek that self-worth well into our middle age years.

As a people watcher, I learn a lot. Of course, I also learn a lot from my own mistakes over my lifetime, but I learn a lot from the lives of those who cross my path.  I see patterns and themes in common. Issues that we all struggle with and areas that we all battle to reveal to others.

One thing I’ve been noticing more and more is this “image” thing. It is popping up in a more visual way because of the world wide web. 

We highlight our trips, our ministries and our successes online. We post photos and we tweet tweets. There is this “need” that is being grown more and more in our hearts to be able to be a part of what we deem “great” in the lives of others.

It’s as if we have relegated “purpose” to “success.” And none of us want to be left out.

It doesn’t matter if the trend of the moment is everyone going to Africa and feeding the poor, or buying Tom’s shoes – we all want to be a part, and more than that, we want to be able to TELL others that we were a part.

But I look at the example for my life…the Bible. And I see where the greatest influences were often carried out. It was in the homes of God’s people.

Following God isn’t always glamorous. In fact, a lot of the time, it’s day in and day out obedience.

It’s mundane.

It’s faithful.

It’s developing relationships.

For most of us, God isn’t going to create a legacy in the lives of others by going on a short term missions trips. (Although I think there is great benefit in doing that.) And He’s not usually going to choose to elevate us to a position of notoriety or publicity where half the world knows our name, our cause, and our deeds.

No, God loves to work in the normal. The meek. The forgotten and the humble.

He loves to work in the lives of you and me. By using us to anonymously drop off food for a family in need at our church or spending hours doing homework and going to our teen’s sports games. By being THERE. By being real!

He uses us when others watch our reaction to a political election or a grumbling and cantankerous neighbor. He uses us in our jobs. He uses us in our daily life.

Daily life.  At the gas station, in the store, doing our taxes, walking the dog. Not glamorous – but faithful. Obedient.

We are always being watched. And we always have someone whom we can be investing into. The life of our two year old. Our aging grandparent. The lonely woman at church. There is always someone.

It isn’t glamorous. But it’s real. And I believe God has called us to real. For that is where the majority of the people are.

Right next to you.

We Have a Duty To Speak Up

I am a Christian. A believer. I have a great faith in God Almighty.

I was raised in the church and I did a lot of observing over the years as I grew up. I witnessed many situations, controversies, and heartaches occur in God’s people. And I watched how they handled it.

For the most part, I have been blessed to have been around some very authentic and genuine believers. People with a strong faith in God. They have been grounded and focused on what God’s Word says.

Time and time again, I’ve watched people handle challenges and hurdles with grace, integrity, honesty, and mercy.

I’ve seen people forgive. 

I’ve watched hearts heal.

And I’ve also seen many, many people bite their tongues. Swallow their hurt. Ignore an offense (publicly) but privately weep. I’ve seen believers try to take the “high road,” when in reality, they should have spoken up.

I believe we are God’s warriors. We are His representatives. And I believe that He wants us to speak up on His behalf. He wants us to lovingly confront a brother or sister in the Lord when they are walking in sin. He wants us to speak up for an unborn child who can’t speak for themselves. He wants us to forgive – yes. But He wants people’s lives to be changed. To grow. And that can’t happen if we don’t disciple one another and walk with each other.

Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.  Col. 4:6

I hate confrontation just as much as the next person. But if I love someone, I should be willing to do the hard thing  - the tough thing. I can’t always be a compliant friend. I can’t always resolve to not get involved. Injustice is injustice. And we should stand against it.

We have a right and a responsibility to fight for the very morals and values we say we believe in. Not in an abrasive way. Not in a rude way. Not in a legalistic or snobby way. But with a heart of love, grace, and gentleness. 

As our God would.

Yes, sometimes we have a duty to speak up. To not sit by idly. To not turn our heads. But to speak up. To fight for what is right. To stand for what is good.

If I Claim To Love The Lord....

What does it mean to live as Jesus did? What does it mean to love as He’d have us love?

If I claim to love the Lord, He is the sole example of the kind of person I am to be.

I can look back on the legacy He left for me and I can observe how He was. Who He was. Knowing, that is what I should also strive for.

And just what is that? Well, this is what I’ve observed from the life of Jesus while He walked on earth.

*He never spoke in anger.

*He loved all people. Of all types. Ugly. Beautiful. Rich. Poor. The outward appearance or social status didn’t matter at all to him. He was seen in the company of a corrupt tax collector, as well as a faithful follower.

*He had integrity. Honesty. God never lied.

*He was warm, compassionate, kind, GENTLE.

*He gave respect and earned respect.

*He didn’t stay at home. He went out into his neighborhood. His town. He travelled. All to tell people about the Lord.

*He never got drunk. He didn’t smoke. Or swear. In fact, He never partook in anything that was slightly controversial.

*He was loyal.

*He prayed. A Lot.

*He went to church. But He also studied God’s Word daily. He KNEW what God’s Word said so that when others tried to trip Him up or when Satan tried to use the Bible against Him, He knew when it was taken out of context.

*He didn’t pretend to be better than others. He was humble.

*He didn’t “water down” God’s Word. He spoke it like it was. And if others chose not to believe Him, He didn’t continue to try to please them. He just “was.” What He offered, He never forced anyone to accept or water it down for them. He let them make the choice.

*He took a day off. He rested. He knew when it was time to recharge His batteries.

*He was generous. Never selfish.

*He forgave easily. Quickly.

*He was never in a hurry. Never rushed anything.

*People never felt criticized by Him or condemned because of their sinful choices. No – merely loved.

*He was gracious and merciful.

There are so many more examples I could give of the kind of person Jesus was.

1 John 2:6 tells us, “Whoever claims to live in him, must live as Jesus did.”

That’s a tall order. But if we claim to live in Christ, it’s an order we need to try and fill.

Are you living as He did? Are you even trying?

I know you could argue that Jesus was perfect. And He was. But that perfection is still something that we can aspire to. We still aspire to have a perfectly beautiful, clean, and organized house and the fact that it will get messed up again doesn’t stop us. So why should striving to be perfect like Jesus, stop us? It’s not that hard to be generous. Not that hard to be honest. We can all study God’s Word daily. We can rest. Keep ourselves from being drunk.

It’s a choice.

I don’t know about you, but I claim to live in Christ. And I want to aspire to be like Him. I may need to work on some areas more than others – but I’m trying.

For I want to please Him. I want to please myself so that I have less to regret in life and more to be joyful about.

I want to – because He gave me the desire. And because I love Him so dearly. That’s what you do when you love someone. You aim to please them.

How about you?

Don't Feel Guilty If You Don't Want To Participate

Causes. Ministries. Mission trips. Community events. The list goes on and on of good things we can be involved in and with.

Most of them are VERY good and worthwhile endeavors. They encourage. They help. They love on others. And they ask of us to be involved.

I think it’s easy to get involved. It’s easy because we can all too easily feel guilty if we don’t.

We can feel guilty for not helping those affected by the tornado.

We can feel guilty for not giving to that family or child in need.

We can feel guilty for not participating in the event that promotes and spreads information on cancer or sex trafficking.

We can feel guilty for not going down to clean the church on the weekend.

Guilty for not wanting to go on that missions trip.

But we shouldn’t.

God gives each one of us passions and natural “bents.” It’s okay to not feel comfortable or driven to good causes. You don’t have to WANT or desire to be involved simply because they are…good.

There are lots of good things out there. But not all of them are for us. God didn’t intend on us filling all the shoes for each one of them.

“For everything may be permissible, but not everything is beneficial.”

We can so easily get excited when we come back from the mission field that we think everyone should have to go and be where we were. But they don’t. Or at least, they might not in the same way.

And we can get so excited about the cause we are promoting for heart disease because we have been affected by it personally in our family. But not everyone has. Not everyone will have the same passion for it as we do – and it’s okay.

There are thousands and thousands of ministries, missions opportunities, and causes out there. There are plenty for us to be involved in. Not by guilt – but by choice. By our natural “bents” and passions for what is at stake or involved.

I may never want to go to Africa or Iraq. And that’s okay. It doesn’t mean that the missions trips I HAVE taken are inconsequential or don’t matter at all. They do. A lot. It just means that God may have me on a different course where He can use me best.

So let’s let Him use us in the BEST places.   And not feel guilty if we don’t want to participate in the rest. As long as we are participating and being used somewhere. Some place. Some place where God has lead us…..like a leash on our heart.

That’s right where we are meant to be.