How Should a Christian Be Different?

We hear often how believers should stand out from the rest of the world. We should be different and show others that Christ is in us.

But how do we do that?

I’ll tell you.

A Christian should be one of the hardest workers at his/her job.

A Christian should be a faithful and loyal friend. Not a gossip or a backstabber.

A Christian should be different from the rest of the world in that they don’t partake in movies with morals/values different from God’s. For example; if there is nudity in it, don’t watch it.

A Christian should show the world that we are different in how we handle conflict. If someone cuts us off in traffic, we don’t tailgate them or drive by and give them “the face.” No, we just let them be. Maybe even say a prayer for them. We don’t engage others in conflict.

A Christian can be different in what they wear. They can be trendy, but not showing off what is only meant to be seen by a spouse in the bedroom.

A Christian can be different by being honest. Honest in paying their taxes. Honest in paying someone back for a loan. Honest when someone asks for their opinion! Honest.

A Christian should be different by being generous. When everyone else looks out for “me,” a believer in Christ should consider others. Give when they see a need, love others, be generous and charitable.

A Christian should be different from the rest of the world by being thoughtful. Bring something to help out with a meal if you’re invited over somewhere (or at least offer!), keep the noise level down if you live in an apartment building, be considerate of others space in parks or outdoor events instead of trodding all over them, return things that are loaned to you in just as good or better condition than they were given to you in, and be kind and polite to those who serve you.

There are so many ways we can be different. We can stand out. But do we?

You know, living life above reproach is more freeing than to live it in bondage. It’s more enjoyable and more freeing to know there won’t be consequences or penalties for bad behavior. And it draws others not only to you, but to God.

We SHOULD be different.  We CAN be different. Let’s start today and live up to the heritage that God has left for us.

Still Learning the Ropes: From Idaho to Texas (church, school and hair)

We have been in Texas for about 2 ½ months now. Honestly, it feels like we’ve been gone at least twice that long! When I realize we’ve only been here 2 ½ months, I see just how much we’ve packed into that time frame and why some things aren’t quite “concrete” in our lives yet.

So, I think we’ve found a church home. That’s good news. It’s huge. One thing I’ve noticed about the churches here is that most of them have police officers outside on-hand to direct traffic. I had never seen that before! And at our church, at the ladies Bible Study they have water bottles for you. A whole bottle, people! Laugh at me, if you will, but in Idaho, I’m so used to a Styrofoam cup and a pitcher of water. If I want a whole water and don’t want to pay for it? Well, the only places I can think of getting that, is at the bank when you open a loan, or at the car dealership when closing a deal on a car.  My husband went to a men’s event somewhere else last weekend, and he too, got a water bottle! We are uptown now! HA HA

I’ve noticed quite a few differences in schools. They, too, have policemen after school on hand to direct traffic! I can see why, because, well, there is a LOT of traffic. My girls’ school is huge. HUGE. It looks like a college campus sitting atop the hill.  In fact, their school has a welcome center. A WELCOME CENTER! I thought only hospitals had those!  Just look at this picture my daughter took one day of all the kids in the halls going to their next class!

Here, school doesn’t start until 8:45 am. It is SO nice. Back in Idaho, school started anywhere from 7:45 to 8:15. So it’s nice to have a little later start in the morning. But I will say we’ve been adjusting to the later release time. They get out at 4:05 instead of 3:15 – what we were used to. So the evening gets late quickly once you get home, crash a little bit from your day, and eat dinner. Not much time to dawdle!

I think one of my favorite things about schools in Texas (or at least the one my girls attend), is they have two sets of books for the kids. A school set and a “take home” set. So when we enrolled them, they each got these huge stacks of books for all their classes to take home and leave there.  No carrying heavy books back and forth to school! At school, they study out of the classroom set. Then they have a book at home to do their homework in! It’s genius.  They turn them in at the end of the year and of course are responsible for damages or missing books at that time. But I love it. I felt so bad for all my girls used to have to carry; especially when they had a game day of volleyball. They’d have their books, their purse, and their game stuff. Too much. They were so laden down with bags. Not anymore!

One thing I am struggling with a little bit right now is finding a good hair salon. So far, the quotes I’ve been getting for hair are quite a bit higher than in Idaho. And they seem to nickel and dime you for everything. Want to get a trim? No problem. Oh, but you want it washed and styled too? That’s extra. Want a highlight. Okay. But if you want a trim also – extra. So is wash and style or a deep conditioning. Every little thing – extra. So it really adds up. Not only that, quite a few salons have “ranks” of hairdressers. You can have a freshman stylist for cheaper. But once she gets good or passes some milestones set by the salon, then she becomes a sophomore stylist and your prices go up. And so on until she is a senior stylist. So even if you like who you have, your prices will go up immediately when her rank goes up. That’s kind of frustrating. So, still on the hunt for a place I can trust my head with permanently.

Overall, I’m still having a blast discovering all these differences. We’ve been having so much fun looking at the weather (even though we’ve had a cold snap of low 30’s) – because we laugh and smile when we see “home” is -2 or a high of 9. (Sorry, guys!)  And NO SNOW or ice for us yet this winter. That’s one of my favorites!

I think I will grow to love Texas more and more even though I know it’s imperfect. Just as Idaho was imperfect.

I’m so thankful to be here. And just having fun sharing with you all my discoveries.

Not Just Anyone Has a Right To Tell Us Who We Are

I remember.

I remember so many of the words and labels that have been used to define me. Some have been good, others not so much.

In junior high, I was a cheerleader and that labeled me. I was also told I had a “big butt.” That stuck with me into adulthood.

I have been labeled because of people I’m related to, where I went to school, what roles I’ve taken in life (stepmom, writer, wife) and my interests. Because of things I’ve been through in life, people have told me I’m brave, creative, sweet, anxious, and wimpy.

Some are true. Some are not.

As I remember, as you remember your childhood – what have you let define who you are as a person? Do you still carry those words said to you by someone else? Even if they might not be true?

I was watching a video clip recently of a man trying out for the “X-Factor” on television. He was so scared that his arm was shaking and he was crying. Someone had told him he shouldn’t sing. Do you know what? Once he started singing, he blew the judges away. He had an amazing voice! It was really, REALLY good. And he was stunned that not only did they like him – but the crowd liked him and unanimously voted him through. Why? Because he let someone else label him and he believed it.

Not just anyone has a right to tell us who we are. We let people speak into our life that have no right to.  They may not have good intentions. They may not see our heart. And yet we let words define who we are, not just in a moment, but for our whole lives. We let them hold us back from becoming who we are really meant to be.

Sometimes we let an image define us, as well. We live in the past of glory days and fail to take hold of our present. Whether that’s good or bad, it’s not a reflection of who we currently are. It’s only a part of what has molded and shaped us.

Be very careful about who you let speak into your heart and life. Don’t let just anyone label you or define who you are.  For you could go your whole life believing and living a lie.

It’s so easy for us to slap titles on others for seeing only a part of what makes up their character and persona. 

Use your words wisely. And use your ears wisely as well when receiving words from others.

Dust

I hate dusting things. You have to move objects around or take them off a shelf all together and dust it; then put them back. And they never seem to look quite the same when you put them back.

It’s tedious. But it feels cleaner when it’s done. And it looks better too.

The thought hit me one day, how our lives can so easily gather dust – just like a shelf. We see they need some cleaning, but it seems so tedious to us that we don’t want to bother. We’d rather leave things the same for they don’t seem that bad. But when we finally get around to doing it, we feel better and we feel cleaner inside.

Dust is one of those things that your normally don’t see accumulate until it’s already there. Things impact our heart and our lives a little bit at a time – like dust. And before we know it, we can write our name in the dust that sits there; there is so much of it because our lives needed a good cleaning.

That’s what happens without regular maintenance. We think a little bit at a time of something won’t affect us. But it does. We just can’t always see it or notice it until later on.

People sometimes wonder why you dust a shelf that seems to already be clean. Why do you dust a life that doesn’t seem to have any problems? TO KEEP IT THAT WAY. The best way to dust is when you do it as a preventative measure instead of doing it after the dust is already there. We need to be preventative in our lives. Keep them clean before the dust starts to accumulate and they get really dirty.

It may seem tedious and unnecessary. And we may have to alter things a bit so that we aren’t quite in the same spot we were in the day before; but it’s worth it in the long run.

Never let things get out of hand and never let something “small” fool you into thinking it’s no big deal.  For “small” always leads to something bigger if given the time.

Don't Despise Small Beginnings

I remember when I was 20 years old and living in Las Vegas on my own. I walked through a Neiman Marcus store at Christmas time and saw these gorgeous crystal icicles that you could hang on your Christmas tree. I thought they were beautiful but I couldn’t afford them. I found some plastic ones at a dollar store and hung those instead. I was smug with myself at my cheap little replacement.

Years later, I finally had glass icicles for my Christmas tree. But I kept the plastic ones. Even today, I still have a few plastic ones that haven’t gotten lost. I hang them right along with the glass ones to remind me of where I started from; my humble beginnings.

I also have paper ornaments that my kids made one year when we were in an apartment. We were building a house and all of our stuff was in storage. So they made ornaments out of paper. I still hang some of those too – a precious reminder of our thankfulness one Christmas, despite not having all our things. We made do and had fun despite what we lacked having.

I still have things I hang onto that don’t have monetary value to someone else. But they are sentimental to me because they are reminders. Reminders of a simpler time. A time when I may not have had financial excess, but I had happiness. And that’s a very important reminder!

Never be ashamed of your beginnings. Most people start out small and aim to get rid of those cheap things as quickly as possible. But it’s those “cheap” things that often can be such great reminders of how rich you truly were and show you how God took care of your every need to bring you to where you are now.

Whether it’s a small home, a “bargain” piece of furniture, or anything else that you had to “make do” with – focus on the bigger picture. There are people in your life who love you and enjoy being with you.

For many, many years, I used an old hope chest as a coffee table. I had many get togethers and people who had to sit on the floor and eat off that hope chest because I didn’t have enough chairs. Those are warm memories. Those were fun times.

You don’t have to have everything achieved in order to love and be loved. You don’t have to have a certain image to be valuable and to “value” pieces of your life.

Things are just things. It’s what they represent that holds the true value.  And that’s why I keep hanging my plastic icicles along with the glass ones. One represents a time and a place that I’m thankful for. It’s where I came from. It’s part of who I am. Another part shows how faithful my God is and how much He loves to lavish blessings on me. Both are valuable in my heart.  And the plastic one holds just as much value as the glass.

It Doesn't Take Much Effort To Be Kind

I usually don’t have much patience for people who ring my doorbell that aren’t my friends or family members. I don’t care for the interruption and having to stand there for small talk when I know I will say “no.”

I used to interrupt and say “no” as quickly as possible so that I could get back to whatever important thing I felt I was doing.

I decided to do it differently, recently.

I saw them coming. I sighed when they walked up my walk. But I was ready to be kind. I knew it wouldn’t take much effort on my part, and it didn’t. I even felt better about myself when I closed the door – even though I STILL said, “no thank you.”

I gave the same answer, with a kinder heart and voice.

I tell my girls the same thing often. We can say the exact same words to someone, but they mean something totally different by the tone we use. It shows our heart and it affects theirs in return.

I’m not sure why we get so abrasive with others. Annoyance, maybe? Busyness? But everyone has feelings. Even the guys who come and ring your doorbell.

It doesn’t take much effort to be kind.

It doesn’t take much effort to smile, or shake a hand.  It often takes more energy to be grumpy and complain. And you don’t feel better about yourself afterwards.

So make the effort.  Be kind to those you speak to today.

Taking The Chance To Reveal Your Heart

Do we hide from each other? Do we tuck away our hurts, sorrows, and true feelings in order to “pose” with one another?

I think we do.

How many times has someone asked “How are you?” and you reply with…” Fine?”  But are you fine? Really? Or is your heart burdened over your marriage? Do you struggle with your children? Can you handle the emotional toll that that “issue” has been putting on your life?

We like to act like we have it all together because we fear being accepted by others. We act like we are always happy. Together.  Successful. Even with those who think they are closest to us. It takes a lot for us to be vulnerable because then we feel exposed and exposure means….well it COULD mean rejection. And that scares all of us to our toes.

I think this is why we are often surprised when our friend’s marriage falls apart and we had no idea. Or that other friend took his life. We had no idea. It seemed so unlike them. We are stunned.

It’s because we didn’t know what was really going on in their heart. 

Maybe it’s our fault. Maybe it’s theirs. But either way – it’s getting easier and easier to not address REAL issues with each other. And it’s dangerous.

We only get one life. One life to live to the best of our ability. One life to love others. One life to make a difference. One life to BE REAL WITH.

Maybe it’s time we look at how often we get deep with those we call “friends.” Or how often we go beneath the surface with our family members?

The world has enough posers. We should be different. Authentic. Genuine. Real.

That means being flawed. And exposed.

Are you willing? Are you willing to risk rejection in order to be there for someone else? Are you willing to risk rejection in order to get the support you need FROM someone else?

No one should bear their burdens alone. No one has it all together. Risk it. Your life is worth the chance.

On The Other Side of Grace

As I sat this morning getting ready for our little family’s Thanksgiving celebration together – my heart was overwhelmed.

OVERWHELMED.

So much has happened in my life in the past 6 months and I am feeling so deeply thankful for where I am.  I am HERE. Here in Texas. Here on the other side of my prayer requests of 3 years. Here on the other side of grace.

There is no better place to be. I’ve felt it before. When I waged a long, deeply personal spiritual battle, and one day saw God gently sweep it out of my life. When I’ve asked Him for other things and His answers were delivered. That’s the other side of grace.  That’s the side where your heart feels so thankful, so blessed, so happy and indebted; that tears come to your eyes. There are no words. The feeling runs deep.

It’s joy. It’s happiness. It’s awe. It’s humility all rolled up into one.

And it’s all about HIM. As it should be.

That’s what living on the other side of grace feels like. It’s unexplainable but delightful. Raw, and it sends you to your knees more than once out of such utter thankfulness.

That is what I’m feeling today.

I am so thankful to be here. God’s “here.” Not my “here.” I never probably would have picked San Antonio on my own. I think God picked San Antonio. And I love it so far.

I am here. Here in a warmer climate. Here with my family. Here in a house that God provided for us to rent. Here with a new church and people I will begin to get to know. Here.

I am so thankful to be here. So blessed. And it makes me love God all the more. For He was faithful. And He will continue to be faithful as our other requests slowly get unwrapped and answered.

That’s living on the other side of grace. There is no better place to be.

Happy Thanksgiving.

What Makes You Happy?

What makes you happy?

I’m not talking about temporary happiness like buying a darling new top, or eating a great meal at a trendy restaurant.

I’m talking about happiness that lasts longer, deeper, and energizes. The kind of happiness that reminds you how wonderful it is to be alive. How wonderful it feels to be YOU. To know what you love and who you are meant to be.

Those kinds of “happy.”

There isn’t one recipe. One kind of “happy” doesn’t work for everyone. Nor does one kind of “happy” complete us. Many times, there are many things that bring us joy and make us happy.

The key is: do you know them? Do you realize them? Do you see them for what they are? Or do they slip through your fingers?

We need to be living more in our “zones.” We need to be doing, and finding what makes us happy.

It’s not selfish. It’s simply knowing who we were created to be and how to go about being that person fully.

So – I ask again, “What makes you happy?”

Do that thing more often. Don’t apologize for it. Enjoy it. Soak in those moments. Let them fuel you.

And be. Happy.

Alone Time

When our kids were young, there were days where I was simply “spent” come dinnertime. Every young mom knows what I am talking about. You can enjoy your kids and emotionally invest in them all day long and still be worn out by suppertime. Sometimes this causes you to get irritable at the littlest things.

My husband did something wonderful for me once in awhile. He let me have a little “alone time.” I would prepare dinner for my family, then I would take mine and go into our bedroom and eat by myself. It was heavenly. Sometimes I would watch a little television set in there while I ate and other times I would eat in solitude – simply soaking up time to be by myself.  Often, I’d finish eating and just sit in there an extra 15 or 20 minutes to truly recharge my battery.

It was a simple fix on a simple budget.

We didn’t do this too often. For one thing – I really did hate to be away from my kids. I enjoyed their company. It was just that sometimes, my husband could easily tell that I needed a break…even if it was a small one. Another reason I didn’t do this too often was that I wanted to be careful that my children didn’t feel like I needed time away from them. I never wanted them to feel like I needed to get away from them for a while. On the contrary, it was more that I needed some “me” time. Time to just focus on me – even if only for a dinner meal.

I remember those evenings with fondness in my heart. I would often come out of our bedroom (for I had closed the doors to help muffle noises that might otherwise lull me out of my quiet time) and I would often look at my husband and say “thank you.” Sometimes what we need the most is often the thing we find the hardest to grab hold of.  Those little breaks rescued me many times when I would have been gruffer with my kids than I ever would have wanted to be. Nothing is worth breaking their spirits or hearts – especially when it’s just that mom is tired.

If you have little ones underfoot and you are feeling weary – why not try some alone time? Often it seems like there is no room in the house where a mom can be alone (not even the bathroom!) But if your kids and husband are eating dinner and are preoccupied – try excusing yourself to your bedroom for a quiet meal alone on occasion. Explain to your children that it’s not that you need to get away from them, but simply that you need some “me” time and that you’ll be out as soon as dinnertime is over.  You’ll be amazed at how this short span of time can help you catch your breath and refocus.  And yet it’s so simple and easy to do.